This is not the essay I had planned to write this morning as I was walking/jogging. At that time, I was feeling rather aggravated, grumpy, and out of sorts. And, as I prayed the rosary and tried to figure out my feelings, I came to the following notions:
1. I like and graviate strongly towards structure and order.
2. I like to have a relatively distinct plan for my day that I will know, understand and be comfortable with when I get up in the morning.
3. I like the feelings I have when I accomplish a task (be it a big "significant" task, or a small or mundane one).
4. I like knowing generally what I will be eating for dinner when I get up in the morning.
5. Personality-wise, I am probably an introvert, although I can force myself to be a pretty damn good extrovert when the situation calls for it. The reason I think I am truly an introvert is due to an article I read recently that there is a statistically significant difference in the amount of "alone" time an introvert needs daily from an extrovert. The gist of the study suggests that introverts NEED some time alone to be with their thoughts, away from others, each day. This amount of time may be 10-15 minutes a 5-6 times a day, or may be a few longer periods. The other aspect of this study that was interesting to me was the idea that people who are introverts tend to be more sensory sensitive (meaning they tend to be more bothered by excessive sounds, touches, smells, or tastes, especially those that are not chosen by the person).
So, what does all of the above mean? Well, I can tell you I was grumpy as hell last night and this morning until I put the above 5 points to the forefront of my mind and thought about them. I know the above are true, and I ALSO know that for the last 4-5 days I have been having days with little to none of those five items.
So, I set up a little experiment with myself and immediately upon getting to the gym, before I even started to weight train, I sat down and wrote out a small list of what I wanted to get done today before I left.
Damn, the order gave me a sense of accomplishment. The sense of accomplishment elevated my mood, and for the first time in several days, I know what my wife is fixing for dinner and when we will eat. And you know what?!? I feel a helluva lot better!
It is nuts. I was originally planning to expound on my anger, my frustration, and my aggrivation.... why I was angry, what I was angry about, etc. But, instead, I turned my mood around and made my day a helluva lot more enjoyable!