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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Personality

Change, a thing that happens that is different.  People react to change in two common ways... they mourned what is being left behind, and they embrace the new opportunities that may arise (this is in regard to changes a person selects).  Most people have a mixture of both emotions.  Yet, some folks tend towards one emotion predominating over the other.  For me, change, even planned for change tends to have me focus much more on the sense of loss, and not as much on the new opportunities.  I have really been that way all my life, and it has shaped who I have become.  

As I have grown more verbally aware of this facet of my personality,  I see it as more and more of a problem, more of something  I dislike in myself.  Why, through the period of change, do I have to think so negatively?  I do NOT have to do that.... I could embrace the joy of change.   But, in all seriousness, I almost always DO NOT do this.  I would like to change, but I am at a loss on how to do this.  It is a helluva lot of work, and I am awful at thinking about the positive, when a change has loss or worry or fear associated with it.  I feel like a damn loser, a pathetic person, a weak individual because I cannot figure out how to change this in me.

I wish I could make myself feel excited about the opportunities change may provide.

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1 comment:

  1. BBCFriday, 23 May, 2014

    A change I would like to see in me is to stop smoking, but being a pathetic little shit I can't seem to do that.

    With Helen's recent death I have other options to consider but for right now I'm just idling along, no point in making any fast decisions or changes.

    But maybe I'll start going south in the winters.

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