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Monday, July 06, 2015

Antsy, Unfocused, Unmotivated

 Today I feel rather unfocused.  I tend to do better with a plan, with goals, with specific things I want to do on a given day.  Usually, the night before when I get ready for bed, I create a "Goal" list for the next day.  Last night, I felt rather unfocused and did not think out a plan for today.  I ended up getting up later than usual for me this morning (6:15am), so that also has altered my momentum.  I didn't feel much like walking or exercising for that matter.  But, I did eventually walk and even forced myself to jog two of the five miles. 

Now, I am in the midst of drinking my morning's 24 oz bold coffee that I bought myself this morning when I arrived on campus.  Hopefully the caffeine will improve my motivation. 

During the weekend, I spent some time when I was smoking my pipe to think about how annoying the habit has become to me.  I even decided to watch myself in a mirror twice during the weekend, as I sat smoking my pipe and felt annoyed at how foolish I looked for smoking.   My mindset is changing.  I used to feel so very differently about smoking a pipe.  This is likely progress, and my annoyance at myself may help me to be stronger when I do make my next effort to quit. 

PipeTobacco

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4 comments:

  1. BBCMonday, 06 July, 2015

    You don't need a plan for every fucking day, did they teach you that shit in college? It is ok to just zone out at times.

    I'm still smoking some also, may until I die, at my age I guess it doesn't make much difference.

    Smoke shops in Texas suck, can't even get pipe filters or cleaners.

    ReplyDelete
  2. PipeTobaccoTuesday, 07 July, 2015

    BBC:

    The few times I was in Texas, I do not recall seeing any decent tobacconists either. I was in Austin at a conference a few years back, and that was when the areas around college towns first started the hookah fad. I had my first experience smoking a hookah at the Hookah Lounge in Austin. It was interesting.

    PipeTobacco

    ReplyDelete
  3. billy pilgrimTuesday, 07 July, 2015

    tobacco makes a good servant but a terrible master and it doesn't take long for it to morph from servant to master.

    the intensity of despair from failure is said to be 5 times more powerful than the feeling of satisfaction from success. every time you try to quit and fail remember the despair you felt when you resumed smoking and imprint it upon your brain.

    if you didn't feel despair when you resumed smoking, you're not ready to quit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. PipeTobaccoWednesday, 08 July, 2015

    BBC & Billy Pilgrim:

    I cannot disagree with anything either of you have said. I have to get up the gumption and determination to do this.

    PipeTobacco

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate all forms of comments on my writings. I find that I miss the sponteneity of coming to read them here when they were unmoderated. I believe I wrote less due to the moderation. I have decided to adopt limited moderation. Hopefully the prior problems with unfettered comments will not arise again. Please feel free to comment as you wish about the essays I write. I will maintain those comments that offer kind-hearted and gentle opinion... be it positive or negative. The opinions of your comments will, of course, need to have relevance to the post as well.