My wife has a smart phone. She is very "into" playing all sorts of various games on this phone. Usually, it is "ok" even though I cannot for the life of me understand her passion for these games (Candy Crush is one example). But what does irk me no end is that she will a) go into the bathroom and play the games for twenty to thirty minutes at a time, just sitting there, or even worse, b) she will play those damn games instead of talking to me while I get things ready for us to be able to relax together in the evening. She seems to think it is perfectly normal and ok to whip out the phone and start bopping around on one of those damn games when we need to get some things done so we can relax for the evening as a family. I just do not get it. I have told her at least 30 times how that when she plays those damn games in front of me that it bothers me and makes me feel lonely and hurt. I truly am at a loss for understanding. She loves me and I love her, so that is not an issue, but I really, sincerely do not understand why it bothers me that she doesn't care and does this over and over.
In the greater scheme of things this is a small thing, I know. But it really bugs the hell out of me and hurts and I do not understand.
PipeTobacco
I'm sorry to hear this. First off, it's probably not good for 'her' plumbing to sit on the throne that long. Then I can see why you're upset about feeling ignored. Is there a reason she has gone this route besides going into the fog over the thing? Could it be some sort of retaliation for some behavior of yours? Is that a possibility? Or could it be that now she has found something to keep her occupied that is more interesting than what you have to offer? For years, yes, years, I had to leave DH alone whilst he watched his football, basketball, wrestling, car races, and other programs on TV without 'bothering' him. I took up an 'affair' with my computer. Now - after all this time, he wants conversations (when no game etc is on) and I am occupied. He is put out. It happens.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can see where I am going with this. Folks don't generally throw mud and not have dirty hands. You are lucky, that phone could have been some guy ...
Good luck!
I would say that you should consider yourself lucky that her new fascination bothers you. So many older couples would not give a damn what the other did while alone together.
ReplyDeleteI dunno how to approach the solution however. Maybe if you pulled out your pipe and lit it every time she was lost in her gadget, maybe that would get her attention. Of course, only if the pipe smoke bothers her and/or it is not a good idea to poke a sleeping bear. You are better suited and equipped to make that decision.
BTW - I find the fascination with smart phone games odd also. When I first got the phone, I became momentarily hooked on "Word Brain". I would still be playing it if I had not eventually ran out of hints because of my dumassery and discovered I would be charged real money for a batch of new ones. My fleeting fancy for phone games immediately lost their appeal.
Good luck Pipe. Those damn games are some addictive. My wife has finally gotten her "Candy Crush" obsession under control. She still plays, but in moderation.
Of course it bothers you. The message seems to be:" I'm more interested in what's on my screen than in talking with you." My spouse is not a gamer, but two grandchildren and a son-in-law appear to be addicted to their devices. They'll come to dinner at our house, or meet us at a restaurant, and very soon they're on line. It comes across as rude, but they can't seem to help it. You ask them to join the party, and they do, for awhile, but soon they're sneaking peeks at the screen again.
ReplyDeletefire up the pipe, have a drink and go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteat our age, the future is now.