Still struggling a lot. Could not force myself out of bed early enough to get in my damn run, so I went to work, and worked feverishly on all the crap I needed to do. Then I lectured for three hours which was the highlight of my day. I then talked with one of the people who are hurting me and tried to get this person to understand my perspective. It was very rough, and I have no idea if this person "got" what I was trying to get this person to understand. By the end, I had tears rolling down my face, and I ended up going into an empty room and sobbing uncontrollably for about 1/2 an hour before I could get a semblance of composure back. I then worked on paperwork for another couple of hours and went home. I forced myself to run the damn five miles I did not do this morning, and now I am writing this.
PipeTobacco
............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.
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Tuesday, April 02, 2019
6 comments:
I appreciate all forms of comments on my writings. I find that I miss the sponteneity of coming to read them here when they were unmoderated. I believe I wrote less due to the moderation. I have decided to adopt limited moderation. Hopefully the prior problems with unfettered comments will not arise again. Please feel free to comment as you wish about the essays I write. I will maintain those comments that offer kind-hearted and gentle opinion... be it positive or negative. The opinions of your comments will, of course, need to have relevance to the post as well.
Is there (1) an academic administrator to whom you can escalate your concerns about those two colleagues, or (2) some other sort of university mediation available, or (3) some confidential counseling or stress-management available to faculty? I do wonder whether for many years you were "self-medicating" with your pipes, rather than facing these difficulties and sadnesses head-on, such that without your pipes you are stuck with having to find new coping strategies for long-standing problems and disappointments. There is no dishonor in taking antidepressants under a physician's care, but if that worries you I'm sure you can research some OTC herbs well-attested to have anti-depressant properties. Or just count it as another Lenten mortification, and figure on a much-foreshortened time in Purgatory because of how you've handled the jerks around you!
ReplyDeletewhat Pat said..
ReplyDeleteThat was some very good advice from Pat and perhaps it will help you.
ReplyDeleteAt least you're DOING something, Professor, instead of just letting this stuff stew in your head....Talking, running, writing about it. One way or another, this BS will pass....
ReplyDeleteMaybe Pat is right.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the upcoming weather will brighten your days.
I was very depressed with my work situation one year. I learned a bit about depression and discovered that I wasn't depressed in the genuine psychiatric sense but was going through quite a downer. That helped me determine to lift my spirits. This sounds preachy, and I don't mean it to be. It can be very hard.
Your readers have some really good insights.
ReplyDelete