Feeling quite down. But, I am trying to force myself through it by trying to focus on the positive. So, a smaller post today:
- 11 miles as usual.
- PCS = 7 (This seems to be a new "norm" for me which is not what I would have expected over 4.5 years from my beginning to refrain. I would have thought the gradual slope line of "decline" would have me likely at at PCS of 1 or 2 by this time.)
- Wednesday is the busiest teaching/research day of the week for me, so I am going to just keep my nose to the grindstone as best as I can.
PipeTobacco
Perhaps it's your stress level that has pushed up your pipe longings?
ReplyDeleteI would have thought the gradual slope line of "decline" would have me likely at at PCS of 1 or 2 by this time.
ReplyDeleteMy experience was apparently a lot like yours, persisting at a PCS of 7 or 8 for nearly a decade. Eventually I realized that I could persist in abstaining, but I also realized that I did not WANT to abstain. And thus my happy return to my pipes and tobaccos.
In this, Professor, I get the impression that you've done better than I did in at least one respect. Looking back, I consider my years away from my pipes as a waste of my time, a doing without something that enriches my life immeasurably. At least your abstaining seems well-paired with introspection and growth, such that whenever you do return to your pipes you won't have any reason to regret your abstaining; you'll simply be returning to your roots after a time of self-examination. You'll probably feel some guilt for a few days after you return, much as I did, but your abstention may ultimately feel like a springboard to a happy and deliberate embrace of your complete self.
Not posting today. I could probably find something, but I can't be bothered.
ReplyDelete