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Confusion
Last night we almost had a blowout... actually we did, but it was smaller than it could have been.
My elderly mother grows more confused. Sometimes she is lucid and her normal self, but other times she is highly confused. When she is confused, her ideas about things are almost invariably the polar opposite of what logic would dictate. It is very hard to deal with, and it makes me feel edgy for it is much like what she was like all the time prior to her hospitalization in July.
When I question her and try to guide her back to normal thought, she suddenly grows aware and then will start to cry. She then becomes embarassed and will not talk with any of us and goes to hide in her bedroom. This hurts her, but also hurts everyone in the family. For me as an individual, I can feel elevation of my blood pressure, a tightening in my chest, clenching of my jaw, worry/anger/fear/frustration/trepedation flooding my body, and pressure causing pain behind my eyes. It is this sort of emotion that makes me want to go screaming through the streets.
Today my mother has another medical appointment I am taking her to at 10am, and then she has an evaluation for home oxygen. I hope it goes well.
PipeTobacco
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