It has been 41 days now since I have last smoked my pipe. Yesterday (Sunday) I technically could still follow my Lenten vow and still smoke my pipe. I considered it. And, I actually even filled a bowl with some vanilla tinctured burley leaf. But, in the end, I did not smoke yesterday as it did not feel like I should, even though technically it would not count against my Lenten vow. There is only one week now until Easter. Without my vow, will I continue to abstain from my pipe? I wish I knew, but I do not.
My wife and I and a bunch of the family decided to go see the film, "Paul, The Last Apostle" yesterday. It was a wonderfully done film, and it gave me a lot of food-for-thought about life. It was not "schmaltzy" in any way..... like some religious films can be.... for which I was very relieved. Instead this film was a much more deeply philosophical film about how to live life. For me, it helped me to realize again some of what I know, deep in my heart, but that I lose sight of so very often....
I believe it is best for me to try to the very best of my ability to live a life of service. By service, I mean I must try to live in such a way that I will help others. I must do this with as much energy as I can muster.
I also believe it is important for me to focus very deeply on my own failures. I need to be aware of how I can be selfish and short-sighted. I need to keep aware of how easy it is for me to be unkind and angry. I need to keep aware of how easy it is for me to focus only on my needs and not those of others around me. I need to keep this focus, for without understanding how often I DO fail, I cannot begin to try to be the better person I do wish I was and the better person I want to become.
I need to work harder. I need to work much harder... to do exactly this... to live a life of service and to be the kinder person I should be.
PipeTobacco
Maybe I am over-reading, but I get a strong sense from your posts that you should first and foremost be more kind to yourself before you think of being kind to others. You cannot help others while you yourself are helpless. You can take good care of yourself without becoming a narcissist and without neglecting your service to others.
ReplyDeleteFather Damien, who ran a leper colony on Molokai, was a pipe smoker. He is now considered a saint.
If you lost a finger in an accident that you could have prevented, you might be upset with yourself but you would not continually beat up on yourself because of your past mistake. You would move forward and make the best of your physical condition.
Similarly, what if, in the worst case, you have made yourself a pipe smoker so thoroughly that you cannot give it up without making yourself unfit for service to others? Even if you must view your pipe-smoking as a disability, or as an injury you did to yourself, it need not prevent you from living a life of service.
Of course, a life of service will often go unrecognized. How much good have you done for ungrateful students and colleagues? That doesn't stop you from serving. You don't choose to serve, or not to serve, because of other people's opinions. If only you could take that same approach to your pipe-smoking. Don't let others browbeat you into feeling that you need to quit. Once you find our own motivation, that's the time to try. And if you fail? Being a better person isn't about never failing; it's about taking failure well. Best wishes to you and yours in this Easter season!
The only religious movie I liked was The greatest story ever told With Jeffrey hunter.........
ReplyDeleteI am shallow...I fancied him even though he was Jesus r
As you put it as philosophical film. I might need to check it out.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
What Pat McDowell said. I, too, think you tend to be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that I could sit through a film of this nature, but it sure led to worthwhile reflections on your part.
ReplyDeleteI am convinced that I wrote a comment here! Did you remove it? Or did I forget to click something?
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ReplyDeleteLiz: Unfortunately, I did not receive any other post from you about this entry other than the one above asking about the post. I am sad that I did not receive it.
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