Loss of "Passions"?

 

I do not know WHAT to attribute this to, but my first thought is perhaps it is age related?  But, I am not really sure.  But, what I do know is that there has been a change, and it has been rather gradual.  

I am talking about my feeling of things PASSIONATELY.  I remember in my 20s and 30s feeling HUGE amounts of passion for all sorts of things.  A few off the top of my head:

1.  Passion for all things FAMILY.

2.  Passion for learning, collecting and reading every biography I could find of Hemingway.

3.  Passion for photography.

4.  Passion for playing music.

5.  Passion for reading fiction.

6.  Passion for scientific discovery.

7.  Passion for travel.

8.  Passion for reading and learning about all manner of history.

Obviously there could be and were many, many more.  But, I recall noticing, perhaps when I was in my mid-40s a "quieting" of those feeling AS ROBUSTLY passionate about these various things.  

In my 50s I had a further, gradual "quieting" of these passionate feelings.

And, through my 60s, I have been feeling still a further decline in these passionate feelings, across the board. 

Is this perhaps akin to the reason why some fellows have a middle-age, or old-age crisis where they do foolish things (like buy a pricey sports car) to try to rekindle some sort of passion?  I do not really know.

It is not that I do not do many, most, (perhaps all) of the things above anymore.... for I do.  But, each with less focus, less conviction, less interest..... less PASSION about them.  

I do not really know what to do or think about this.  I do know, however, that I MISS feeling that DEEP, FOCUSED, ENTHUSIASTIC.... PASSION for things.  And, while it can be understandable to perhaps "get tired" of certain things.... I would think that it would then be logical that one would find OTHER THINGS to be passionate about.  But, for me, that has not been the case.  It is as if the tachometer of my passion is consistently decelerating.  Earlier, I may have been revving with passions in the 4000+ RPMs, but in many ways these days, it seems my "passion" about ANYTHING barely deviates from around 1000 RPM, which is basically idle speed.  

Anyone have any insights?  Is it TYPICAL to have such an across the board loss of passion as one ages?  I miss how invigorating that used to feel.  

*****

Running went fine this morning.  I think I am getting my stretching into a better pattern as my knee is feeling looser and does not feel taut and uncomfortable after a run.  

******

I am considering putting together a new display on part of one of the walls of my outer office at the U.  I have various things on the walls already.... copies of my diplomas, various plaques I have received for this or that over the years, a few photos of my immediate family (from fairly long ago, though), etc.  But, I am thinking I am going to put up in a spot that is open near my bulletin board, a series of three photos (matted and in frames) of black & white images of my three "fathers".... my biological Dad, my Master's Advisor, and my Doctoral Advisor.  I have selected a particular image of my Dad, and found recently a few small images of my advisors that were tucked away.  I have scanned each, and with the electronic files, I have been working to crop them each so that they have a uniform size/look, and have been working on different levels of de-saturating the color from the images.  I am leaning towards the more stark de-saturation levels of typical 1960s era black and white photography as what I am preferring.  I tried a few variations of sepia tones but did not like them as well, and tried even a few incomplete de-saturation trials of color as well..... but ultimately, the 1960s style of bluish-black type of black & white imagery seems the most appealing to me for this display.  I am planning to have the three images sequentially on the wall, with a small, oval, wooden and brass plaque above them that I will have attached a yet-to-be-determined tobacco pipe.  It seems a fitting and interesting display for those three very important figures who helped shape who I have become.  Each was a pipe smoker, and each is a father to me..... biologically, or scientifically.  

PipeTobacco     

  

 

Salt & Pepper

 

In both of my offices at the U (one is in my research lab, and the other one is more in the "outer" part of the building, which is the one I work in during my office hours for classroom student visits mostly)..... I keep both a salt and pepper shaker in case I am eating something that warrants said accoutrements (usually hard boiled eggs, but also a variety of other things).  I have traditionally bought these from one of our local "dollar stores" and they come pre-filled.  They are very simple, yet also not refillable.... but also not messy like our more traditional shakers we have at home.  

I tend to like A LOT of pepper on most foods that benefit from that spice.  When I eat cottage cheese, for example, it often looks like a "dirty, urban snowdrift" with all the pepper I like on that food. Salt, by contrast, is something I have never used all that much generally.  Sure, I like salt on popcorn, which I do eat a lot. But, other than that, I tended to not use much if any salt.  That is..... until I started running several years ago.  I noticed then that I tended to sometimes crave salt.  I attributed this to perhaps my running causing me to sweat more abundantly and to lose more salt from my body.  Conversely, it may be that my higher revving metabolism while running causes me to physiologically use more salt biochemically.  However, both of the above ideas are just hypotheses.  But, these days, I do use some salt.  

This brings me to my major observation, which relates to the Dollar Store purchases of disposable salt and pepper shakers.  Inevitably, I find that in what I buy, there seems to be MUCH LESS pepper in the shaker compared to salt.  Yes, I do CONSUME much more pepper, so that may exaggerate the difference.... but.... I wanted to see more definitively, so in this last batch I just bought and opened.... I used my chick candler (a strong light source that is a part of each of my egg incubators for class, where the light can pass through the egg shell strongly enough that you can see the developing chicken embryo) to see how much each canister was filled (I did not want to pry them open to see, as they would not be usable or stable afterwards).  Just as I expected.... the pepper shaker was only 1/2 full, whereas the salt shaker was over 90% full.  

Salt and pepper can also refer to one's hair, beard, and mustache.  I used to be more vividly "salt and pepper" with distinctive patterns of light and dark in my hair, beard and mustache.  But, these days, while I am still NOT white.... my hair, beard, and mustache are a relatively uniform gunmetal grey.  

As I was running this morning, after finishing praying the rosary, I let my mind drift to my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  In a newsgroup I belong to about pipes, a new "trendy" thing a lot of folks talk about is the "aging" of pipe tobaccos like folks do with fine wines and whiskeys.  There are some folks there that INSIST that their "aged" tobaccos are significantly more sublime than a freshly opened tin or tub.  I tend to think it is utter balderdash, truth-be-told.  But, I also was thinking that I now have a helluva lot of "finely aged" pipe tobaccos all about me!  It has been, I believe, now roughly 7.5 years since I was a daily pipe smoker.  If these fellows are accurate in their assessment, I am sitting on a gold mine of pleasure!  It did have me thinking while running, that is for sure.  

PipeTobacco

4th of July

 

Hoping to have a calm, peaceful day here today. We shall see how our dog and cat do with the inevitable fireworks and gun firings that occur by (obnoxious) folks throughout our neighborhood today.  

I hope all of you who (like me) are in the US.... have a great "Fourth of July" holiday!  I hope for my other friends (from Canada, and across the globe) have a very calm, peaceful and joyful July 4th.  

Like my doppelganger, Joel (from the Gasoline Alley comic strip), I will try to figure out what is going on, and hope for the best!

PipeTobacco

Eager

 

It feels a bit "foolish" I admit, but I am feeling VERY excited about returning to the Retiree's Cigar Group this afternoon!  I hope it is as enjoyable and fun as it had been, and I hope that while the fellows there are likely to tease and chastise me a bit for being away for such an extended period, that it quickly returns to being equally as pleasant as it had been. The camaraderie is valuable in ways that I do not know how to describe well.  It is so different than other experiences.  

Running was pleasant and a bit cooler, so that was good.  

My wife and I are considering getting a new computer for our home (my den.... I probably should say "our den" but if we were to measure the percentage of time spent in that room, I am the one who uses the room probably 95% of the time, and it is admittedly a bit stereotypically "professorially guy" furnished (and with many racks of my pipes and jars and cans of my pipe tobaccos).  My wife, does, however, use the computer and printer in there frequently.  Well..... she USED to do so.  Our computer in my den is 16 years old, is rather decrepit and has to coaxed into doing most things with a helluva lot of patience.  And, we gave up on the printer, as we no longer wanted to pay for the damnably expensive ink CARTRIDGES for a 16 year old printer.  

My wife's one request for our new computer is that she wants dual monitors.  She has had dual monitors at work for at least 15 years, I believe.  And, she says it is difficult for her to do things now without two screens.  I, personally, have had scant exposure to dual screens, so for me, I am not sure how I will like them.  I am sure they will be nice, but I worry a bit about there not being an actual CENTRAL image, but that you have to keep looking left and right.  But, hopefully it will be an easy adjustment to adapt to.  

In the system we are considering, the two monitors we would get are ones that I purposefully selected because the screens can also ROTATE from landscape to portrait orientation.  To me, even though I have never used a rotated screen, it seems if one screen could be in portrait orientation, it might be nice to see, view, and read the full page of various print documents (such as .pdfs) as they are typically in that orientation.  The image I found online of a system with double monitors (above) highlights my worry about a lack of a central focus/image.    

A sad note.  Our Music Director at the parish we moved to has decided to retire.  She was amazing in her role and she will be greatly missed.  Music Ministers are often difficult to find, but their role and value in the Mass is very important.  

PipeTobacco

Running & Stretching

With it being in the mid-70s here even at 4:45am, when I started my run.... I COULD have easily gone "Sasquatch Mode" (meaning not wearing a shirt.... just shorts, socks, and shoes).  But, I guess I was feeling rather self-conscious this morning, and wore a t-shirt.... which became completely drenched by the time my run was finished.  I could ring out a truly surprising amount of sweat into the sink when I took of the t-shirt when I arrived back home.

The t-shirt photo I have atop of this post is actually a stock photo from the website my wife used for a t-shirt she had ordered for me a while ago, that I wear around the house sometimes.  I find it humorous and funny.  There is a real bar up in the state of Washington that is named the "Sasquatch Saloon" and I think it would be awfully fun to visit there someday.  

One of the things I have to become better at is STRETCHING.  I always TRY to stretch before and after my runs.  But, sometimes I am somewhat half-hearted in my efforts, usually because I feel pressed for time.  But, half-hearted stretches are NOT a good thing.  I find it is CRITICAL to stretch fully and persistently in order to avoid two types of pain and one other issue I dislike:

1.  I need to stretch very faithfully to keep plantar fasciitis from occurring.  This is a condition that can be caused by imflammation of the arch and heel area of the foot... or in my case, when I had a bout of it (last year, I think) due to my NOT stretching the arch area of the paddle area (the arch area) of my feet.  The typical stretch is akin to the image below:

But, I do not do the stretch in that fashion.  Instead, I find a wall, and push the tip of my shoe against the wall about 5-6 inches above the ground, and then push down with my full body weight.  It provides me a much STRONGER, DEEPER stretch to work to keep the tendons in my arch as elongated as possible.  I usually hold that position for roughly a minute for each foot and usually do 3 repetitions of that stretch. It worked beautifully to eliminate my earlier plantar fasciitis pain (again, I think that was last year).  And, I have not had it since.  

2.  The other stretch (and the one I sometimes am lax in, because it is awfully damn difficult for me to do) is one that is critical for me avoiding knee pain.... it is a hamstring stretch.  The typical way you are shown to do this sort of stretch is akin to the image below:

But, very truthfully, that is IMPOSSIBLE for me to do in the way the person above shows.  A "yoga master" can do that, but truthfully, I think there is no way in hell that I could ever get that sort of limberness.  The closest I can get is perhaps where my arms are maybe 10 inches away from my foot.  And, trying to HOLD that type of stretch when you cannot reach and grasp your toes is futile.  

Tightening and shortening of the "hamstrings" is a very common occurrence for people who run. But, if the "hamstrings" get too tight (aka too short), it causes stress and pressure on the ventral aspect of the leg (aka the knee).  

I actually dislike the term "hamstrings" this common name actually refers to three muscles located at the back of the thigh which are the biceps femoris, semitendinosus and semimembranosus muscle groups:

 

 

These muscles work together to flex the knee and extend the hip. The common name of "hamstring" comes from the practice at abattoirs (slaughter houses) of cutting the tendons of these muscles (which in a pig are the "hams") and using the strength of the tendons to hang the carcass.   

3.  The other issue I DISLIKE, which is ancillary is that by not doing 1 & especially 2 above, I can develop a worse posture.  I try VERY diligently to always stand upright and with a good posture to my back and neck.  But, I have also always had a tendency to slouch which I continuously try to work against.  My slouching is a remnant of my heftier days (when I was close to 300 pounds) and I would instinctively sloop my shoulders and neck forward in the mistaken impression that I looked less obese than I was.  It was of course an illusion, but one that only I would see, because in the mirror when I would dress in the morning, when I would look at myself, my ventral surface appeared "flatter" and my gut not as protruding if I slouched forward.  I tended to carry myself subconsciously in that fashion the entire time I was so heavy.  When I lost the 130 or so pounds I shed (close to 20 years ago now,  wow!)  I noticed how horrendous my posture was and began to work on that.  By stretching in all manner of forms, but especially #2 above, I can better keep a better posture.  

* * * * *

I have traveled to work this morning with my leather tobacco pouch filled with Iwan Ries "Three Star Blue" pipe tobacco.  The sent of it when I unzip the pouch is so pleasing that it easily brightens my mood.  As I am  going to be working on various reports today, I think I need to keep this pouch handy so I can enjoy its aroma throughout the day at my desk.  

* * * * *

TOMORROW is the day where I can again to regularly attend the RETIREE'S CIGAR GROUP at its normal day and time!!!  This means I should see most all of my friends (except perhaps some who have gone away for the Fourth of July weekend).  It will be truly wonderful to see many more of my friends tomorrow.  I have missed them.  Only seeing one, and occasionally two (but sometimes NONE) has been difficult.  I am SO very looking forward to tomorrow being a great day!

PipeTobacco

Esto y Aquello

Puerto Rico was a wholly wonderful experience!  My two presentations went very well, so that was great.  But, what was especially great for me (and my wife) was that it was MY first experience in a truly Caribbean environment (my wife has had experiences there previously to our marriage).  It was visually very beautiful and striking.  Never having been in a tropical, island region before was wholly new for me.  

I was initially very wary of sunburn and excessive sun exposure.  I slathered my body head to toe each day in 50+ SPF sunscreen, and can happily report that I never burned at all!  It is rather interesting to me that with all that sunscreen on, I actually DID tan a reasonable amount, much more so than I have ever been able to do. 

Food was fun and amazing on several levels.  I ate a lot of delicious food with Puerto Rico-an spices and flair!  Many delightful bean dishes.  I also had a delightful, spicy pot-roast style dish that was truly inspired!  My wife, much more fond of meat dishes than me, had a few meals where there were samples of many meats as an entree.  One of her dishes that I tired a bit of, that was delicious (and surprisingly so for me) was a pulled-pork dish she had (I normally do not really like pork).  It was uniquely spiced and succulent!      

But, perhaps the biggest food surprise was that we had a new (to me) experience at what is called an "Asian Hot Pot" restaurant in Peurto Rico called "Denko Asian Eatery".  At this place, you would each order a soup "base" and proteins and vegetables of your choice and cook the soup at your table.  The food would be delivered by a funny/cute conveyor system that was akin to a modern "train" of sorts that would bring you materials and supplies.  My wife ordered a neutral base whereas mine was spicy.  She ordered shaved beef as her protein and I ordered soy.  But we also had a mountain of fresh vegetables each to add to our respective pots.  It was tremendously fun!  We also had edamame as an appetizer and an asparagus sushi roll as an appetizer.  For me, it was also very fun to order and have a "Lucky Buddah" beer (it was the most interesting sounding beer they had).  Never having one before, I was surprised to find the bottle itself was interesting:

So, overall, food was a joy in Puerto Rico!

PipeTobacco