Supposedly

 

The retirement company that is associated with our U has retirement specialists that come to campus once a month to help folks with questions/concerns.  I made an appointment with them to see what was up.

That appointment was today.  Trying to learn about my retirement options is a daunting task for me.  My inclination is to have extraordinary trepidation about retirement because I am terribly afraid to be "destitute and homeless".  I can understand that this last sentence may sound silly.  But, it is a very significant fear of mine.  Perhaps it was a worry instilled in me by my Great Depression era parents.... but I do  not tend to think so, although it may be a part.  Perhaps a large amount of my fear is related to the ambiguity of the various "calculators" and "predictor models" that purport to project into the future factors such as inflation, economy, etc.  Or perhaps there is something more that I just do not understand about my fears.  

But, I do know that the idea is wholly frightening.  I keep imagining scenarios where what APPEARS to be a comfortable retirement plan becomes decimated and simultaneously social security drys up and Medicare is dismantled.  I have even had nightmares of exactly these things happening and I awake in a fully pajama soaked sweat from the fear experienced in those nightmares. 

With my U position I am able to go to these specialists every month or two, and I am thinking I NEED to do this, just to try to allay my fears and anxieties.  In today's session, which arguably was extremely hypothetical, the fellow set up a scenario where he projected out until we are each in our mid nineties the projected costs we would together have based upon "lifestyle spending trends" we talked about.  He was even able to (with my wife's permission) access her own retirement information and combine it in this theoretical model with my own to project our "couples" needs.  

From his modeling, he suggests that in THEORY, if we were to retire in two years, we would THEORETICALLY meet our monthly expenditures every month in this projection through our mid 90s with a THEORETICAL monthly surplus of ~$6,000.

I do not know if I believe the above, or if in reality the above is just this fellow "blowing smoke" up my posterior.  I do not know if I trust the modeling system.  I do not know if I can test the accuracy of such a model.  

Overall, it SOUNDS amazing and wonderful and more than I (we) could ever hope for.  But, I do NOT believe it, and I do NOT trust it.  This fellow also helped me enroll online for a retirement simulator approved by the U's retirement agency that I can "play around" with to test various scenarios.  I may have to do this, and see what my own efforts at modeling may show.  I imagine I would strive to create as much of a "worst case" scenario in these models as I could figure out.  Perhaps, IF after I exhaust creating as many worse-case scenarios as I can figure out.... and if they would somehow still allow us to have at least an ability to SURVIVE in retirement... then PERHAPS I could feel less afraid and less fearful.  I do not know.  It all seems to be smoke and mirrors if you ask me. 

PipeTobacco

PCS - 8.... I would so much relish a calming pipe.  The retirement talk has made my stress hormones sky rocket.  And, the ambiguities about what will occur regarding my inability to go to the Retirees Cigar Group at the proper time if at all this coming Thursday make things feel very harsh.

Contentedness Score - 3.... nothing should be wrong, but I now feel a lot of anxiety.  I feel exhausted.  The fear is draining.