Comments on Comments July 14th

I needed to run inside this morning as we are in another period of unhealthy air quality due to Canadian Wildfire smoke.  I do worry about this, but sometimes I am really questioning if air conditioned, indoor air is actually, truthfully any better?  However, as the current suggestions are that indoor air/air conditioned spaces have a better quality of air (compared to the current conditions), I followed the guidelines.  It all feels rather dystopian in a way.  When the EPA was enacted in 1970 (I remember the announcement on the news, even as a youngster that this was very exciting), it started a significant cleaning and reduction in air pollution.  Now, air quality is (for us near Canada anyway) down significantly, and the EPA is in shambles.  What would Rachel Carson think of the current state of affairs?  She has been a significant idol my whole life.   

Onto my comments on some recent comments.  As usual, the commenter and his/her comments are bolded and in italics.  Commenters are organized alphabetically by first name or moniker.  My replies are in normal text.  

AC 

...maybe you need a vacation...

Hah!  Yes!  But, my trip to Puerto Rico was actually partially a vacation (and work).  It was fully wonderful and I did feel very relaxed there and when I cam back.  But, only a couple of days later, both my wife and I thought about it.... and we were both sad to realize that Puerto Rico already SEEMED like it happened a month ago when at that time it had only been 4 days.  

We do have hot, humid summers. The world tends not to realize how hot Canada can be. It’s true that sweat is more miserable than helpful in our summers. 

Yes, the HUMIDITY is what makes Summer much more challenging, much more so than the temperatures, IMO.  In my region and in any humid region, I believe the biggest benefit of air conditioning is the reduction of humidity in the microenvironment, not so much getting things cooler.... although coolness IS pleasant.  We have dehumidifiers running in our basement and second floor during the summer that further assist our air conditioning keep inside more dry.  

You neglected to mention the most obvious lack of passion of all. 

Fortunately, love does not appear to be tempered by age.

Somewhat oddly, I am still salt and peeper in both beard and hair. Not a nice salt and pepper, mind you. I think being gray would be preferable, but nature hasn’t offered me a choice.

While I am more uniform grey currently, I enjoyed the more divergent patches of different colors as I greyed.  I would not do so, but I have read that some fellows actually get what are called "undertones" applied to their beard and mustache to create that more "defined" look with dye.  

I would not mind if my beard and mustache (and hair) would become pure white.  But, genetically, I believe I will be always a rather "gunmetal grey" color.  Both of my parents stayed grey-grey..... never white.  My Mom applied some sort of "blueish" hair treatment to her hair that helped the grey be a more "pretty" and less "yellowish" grey.  I cannot recall what that treatment was.  It also gave her hair more shine as well.  I might have to try to figure out again what that material was (I believe it may have been something called "Clairol Just for Grey" or something similar. 

Am I gathering that you do not have separate computers? I can’t imagine. I have a desktop; she has a laptop. We both have tablets, and I am using mine at the moment.

At home, my wife and I made a purposeful decision to share a single computer and that is what we have always had.  We did this for a few reasons...... 1) cost initially, 2) we both wanted to attempt to keep us from becoming overly zealous in terms of using computers at home, 3) as I am the "IT Guy" in this facility (our home), I hoped to have as few different devices to have to deal with, 4) and to not have so much electronica scattered about the house.  When we made this decision, it was well before we had cell phones and tablets, etc.  Now we have all those damnable gizmos too, somewhat to my chagrin (even though I willingly use them too).  

I am only getting rid of our old decrepit (I am thinking it is 15 or 16 years old) computer because it apparently is unable to switch to damnable Windows 11, and that will cause havoc related to my ability to accomplish U things if I do not switch (the U Switched long ago).

I have discontinued stretching post-surgery. When I do stretch or when I have stretched, I can more or less do that hamstring pose on one side but I have to improvise on the other.

I can understand not stretching for a time after your surgery.  But, I do wonder how long you should chose to wait before returning to stretching?  I believe stretching is vitally important for maintaining mobility as we get older.  I have seen MANY folks acquire balance and flexibility issues because they do not stretch.  Even though stretching is NOT enjoyable nor fun, I am trying to actually INCREASE the amount of stretching (and also the types of stretching) I do, because I worry/fear that potential loss of balance/flexibility as I further age.  

bornfreev

I'm 72 years old and this year for some reason, I really FEEL 72, whatever that means ... perhaps a state of mind? Gettin' old is certainly not for the faint of heart.

I do hope it is a state of mind.... a state of mind that I can work myself out of.... if only I would think it through hard enough and figure out a game plan to alleviate the doldrums and loss of passion.  

GaP

I'll tell you THIS, Professor. Writing about it as you have been doing is definitely in the PLUS column. It requires you to sift through your thoughts and feelings. It can only be a positive thing to sort out all of that mental flotsam and jetsam.

I do find that trying to write through my feelings does help me to attempt to better understand what is going on.  And, while I do not always get clarity, I find it useful.  And, additionally, the comments I receive often do help me think through things more deeply as well.  

I love that "three pictures" idea. A great tribute. Passions: Yeah, I believe our passions dim with age. I remember my dad saying to me once: "I wish I was gung-ho about anything these days." 

I do also really like the three picture idea.  I am working on getting it organized so I can get the images printed and I can put them into frames.  I am also thinking of which pipe will be the ornamental, display pipe as well.  

Your dad's sentiments are quite similar to what I have been feeling.  But, I am HOPING to rail against that mindset.  I would like to re-establish my feelings of "passion" across the board, but I would settle at first to feeling the day-to-day passions (as opposed to the "hobby" passions).  I am not sure HOW to do this, but I think it is something I NEED to address and try to alleviate.  

June

You are still passionate about smoking your pipes, so there is still that joy left.

Yet, while there is a bit of "passion" there, the reality is I am NOT smoking my pipes at the current moment, and more frustrating is that my emotional passions across the board  for EVERYTHING have waned in ways that I have noticed the last few months.  Across the board for everything.  And it is frightening and discouraging.  

Margaret

Low level depression? Maybe try a new hobby/class/activity and see if that sparks any interest?

I do wonder about depression at times.  But, it is such a "squishy, ambiguous" diagnosis that sometimes I worry about the way in which a clinician may manifest the term in terms of treatment.  I worry, I guess that many current clinicians are so over-burdened that they (like many of us) will take the path of least resistance to get on with their day.  In the case of potential "depression".... I can easily see a harried clinician mentally going through a simple check-box list and subconsciously thinking akin to..... "Ok, three boxes checked out of seven, that hits the minimum threshold.... I can easily diagnose "depression" and easily write a script for Prozac.... and still make tee-time for an afternoon round of golf!"

In terms of hobbies etc.... I would LOVE to incorporate something new.  Heck, I would love to just have time where I can do the already existing hobbies too.  I just do not understand WHY but it seems like I have less and less time in a day to do the things I would like to do.  It is a struggle.  I cannot sleep less (hell, I want to sleep more).  I do not FEEL like I am doing things more slowly either, but I seem to have less and less time.  

I would still be miserable in that kind of heat and isn't sweating a protective measure? It seems like dry heat would be dangerous because the lack of sweat wouldn't allow the body to cool off. 

Actually, though, the DRYNESS in dry heat is what allows the sweating process to be cooling to the body.  In dry environments, folks may not NOTICE themselves sweating because the sweat evaporates off almost immediately.  But it is the evaporation of the sweat that physically allows the body to shed/dissipate a lot of heat. Evaporative cooling of the skin by sweating exploits the fact that water will absorb a relatively large amount of heat and dissipate it away from the body in order to evaporate.   In a high humidity environment, the sweat that forms on the skin is less able (or unable in 100% humidity) to evaporate, and this results in limited or no cooling of the body.  

The age of passion can calm to the older times of quietness, calm and interest. I'm very interested in things but not passionate about them. I love reading, certain detective series, Star Trek, astronomy, walking but like you, my passion for them has waned, although not my enjoyment in them. It feels different yet not in a bad way.

Unfortunately, for many things in the last few months especially, I find both my passion and my enjoyment for many things has waned.  Perhaps your differentiation between passion and enjoyment is an important one in my own thoughts.  Because BOTH passion and enjoyment have declined and I really want to get one or both to return.  I find it interesting that you are a Star Trek novel fan!  I had been a rather rabid reader of Star Trek novels for a considerable period of time.   In the one "series" I know of (there may be many more, I presume), I had faithfully read the first 60+ novels and was always eagerly awaiting a newly published one.  I am not really sure how I fell out of this specific genre.  Perhaps I should give it a go again.  I must admit, though, that while I watched "ST:Next Generation" on television through its initial run, my "passions" about watching and reading Star Trek really only encompassed the ORIGINAL Star Trek.  I have not watched any of the other "spin offs" beyond Next Generation.  

I would be completely gray if I didn't dye my hair although my eyebrows are still (naturally) dark brown. Very strange! 

Yes, it is interesting.  for me, my eyebrows have only a few grey hairs and are otherwise still dark brown.  I knew a fellow at the U who was well into his 80s.... and his mustache was still black as coal, even though his head, eyebrows, and beard hair were all pretty close to white.  It is interesting the variances that arise.  

I love pepper and use it quite a lot although I stay away from added salt. (hypertensive) I wonder why there is less pepper; is it a more expensive spice? Never used it on cottage cheese!

I suspect pepper is generally more expensive, so that is why these pre-filled shakers have less pepper by volume.  It is wonderfully tasty on cottage cheese.  I also sometimes put pepper on popcorn as well (I eat a lot of popcorn as a healthy snack).  I remember first coming across pepper on Popcorn at an old movie theater I would often go to in graduate school.  This very old theater was abandoned for a period of time, and reopened as an "art" movie house (showing odd (experimental) films, independent films, and also foreign films).  They offered peppered popcorn, and I tried it and really enjoyed it!  I do not pepper my popcorn every time I eat popcorn, but probably once or twice a week I still do.   

How wonderful that you get to return to the Cigar Group! The Sasquatch Saloon is located at JBLM, so I'm not sure I can go to it as a non-military member. More research is required!

Interesting, I never realized the Sasquatch Saloon was a military based establishment!  I have really enjoyed the t-shirt, and even though I do not often wear a t-shirt in public (a remnant of my "hefty" days when I was highly embarrassed at all the bulges), on the few occasions I DO wear a t-shirt in public I get pleasant laughs and smiles about the shirt and my own "furry" countenance.  

Pat M

Could you perhaps find a priest with whom you could chat and unburden yourself? A pipe-smoking Capuchin might be ideal, but otherwise someone who would have a good appreciation of your values and ideals.

I would readily enjoy finding a Capuchin, pipe-smoking priest again to speak with.  But, our Diocese is in a severe shortage of priests at the moment, and with our move to a new Parish, the younger fellow we now have (great though he is) is not one I am currently feeling would be a good fit for such discussion.  

There might be some medical thing going on (less testosterone?), but with everything else in your life it could just as easily be something very mundane getting in the way of your motivation and your capacity for joy. 

I have contemplated getting a blood work-up, and have wondered about testosterone (as I does decline as one ages).  But I have yet to follow through with any of that thus far, because I do admit some trepidation.

"anhedonia" 

An interesting thought.  It does seem rather apt.  But, sometimes (often?) I am hesitant in actual clinical diagnoses about the more "squishy, nebulous" psychological terms in comparison to those that are more concrete.  The "squishy, nebulous" terms give me a bit of pause in terms of the possible ways a clinician may use such a term in diagnosis.... for good or for less than good intent, I sometimes wonder.    

This is a bit of a wild guess, Professor, a speculation, so I may be entirely off-base. But I find myself wondering, based on your various comments here... is it possible that, over the decades, your desire for control and order may have overcome your desire for passion -- perhaps even to the extent that you are now somewhat AFRAID of your old passions? 

That is a very interesting idea, Pat!  I have been thinking about this ever since you commented the above.  I am NOT SURE, but what my thoughts are currently are that I do not THINK I am afraid of my old passions.  I am not 100% sure of this, but in reasoning through things, I do not seem to feel a fear of them as far as I can tell.  I do admit that I find great comfort in control and order.  But, I can also say that has ALWAYS been a factor in my personality as well.  I have never really been a COMFORTABLY spontaneous person of any merit.  I recognize how spontaneity can be valuable and good to have or engage, but it is not my natural inclination to be that way.  I have had to sometimes "plan" to be spontaneous (I know that sounds contradictoy and ludicrous, but hear me out...) meaning I sometimes would purposefully WORK into my thoughts the idea that I would NOT go to this or that event with a preconceived analysis of what I would anticipate would occur and what would happen.  My natural inclination is to think through the plan and the outcome for damn near anything I will do, ahead of doing it.  But, in order to be "spontaneous" or at least to have the option of "spontaneity" what I had to do was prepare myself to specifically NOT think and plan an upcoming event, and simply go to it and try to let the "cards fall where they may".  

You've written that you still feel some manner of passion for your pipes, yet you've also written that you fear the loss of control that might come about if you fully engaged that passion. 

Yes, I do feel a "passion" for my pipes.  But, in regards to feelings of "passion" across the board, they feel diminished, not just for pipes, but for everything.  That is what scares me.  In regards to the fear of "loss of control" if I started to smoke my pipes again.... I can understand how it could be viewed that way.  But, what I think I actually mean is that I KNOW I could control myself if that is what I CHOSE to do..... but what I am not enthused about is the AMOUNT OF ENERGY I would have to potentially expend to exert that control.  I am a lazy sort of person generally, and tend towards taking the "easy way out" of things, I think.  And, what I believe keeps me from having an occasional, admittedly extremely delightful pipe, at this time.... is the wish to NOT have to devote so much energy into keeping myself "on-track" with an occasional pipe routine as it has never been my normal route of behavior with pipes.  It is perhaps this difference that has been helpful at the Retiree's Cigar Group..... namely I never had an established pattern with cigars, and the adoption of this weekly ritual with the group of fellows IS a newly established order/pattern and not the work to re-establish a different pattern to what I am used to as would be the case with my beloved pipes.  To establish an occasional pattern with my pipes seems far, far more work and effort as I would need to expend a lot of energy to fight my natural inclinations.   

And you mention a passion for family, yet it's clear that in light of some sour relations a passion for family is a sure pathway to deeper hurt as you contend with circumstances beyond your control. Even the process of learning may involve a kind of loss of control, as new discoveries and insights may disrupt long-held old assumptions that have given order to your world. Even scholarship, to the extent that your passion for discovery must be mediated against academic bureaucracies and expectations, may not be what it once was.

Wise words, and likely very true.  I am still trying to digest them to discern how they can shape my next steps.  I am not sure if I can add anymore to the above comment currently as I am still mulling it over.  

Passions change us in ways that make us more full ourselves, Professor. So if one fears the change that may come from upsetting an academic apple-cart, or from asserting oneself in a family dispute, or from embracing pipes and pipe tobaccos in a world that now demonizes those once-lauded balms, it's no surprise that a desire to avoid "making waves" may cause one to favor the monotony of order rather than the dynamic passion of change.

Again, very interesting thoughts and ideas.  I am still trying to figure out how I feel about them and how to respond.  I am not sure I am "demonizing any of my balms" (pipes, family, work) per se, but I see how that may be an impression I may give.  I have always lived with the idea that I CAN have what I hope for in life, if I put in enough thought and energy to allow it to be able to happen.  It just seems that in regards to my CURRENT situations (with pipes, family, and work) I am not able to muster enough thought and energy to get there..... or worse, perhaps I am failing to put in enough thought or energy.... even though I feel I have no additional reserves of thought nor energy to give.

I keep one monitor centered in front of me, and my second monitor immediately to its right, angled ever-so-slightly toward me. At the moment, I have two landscape-orientation monitors, but in the past I have occasionally had one rotating monitor on the right, kept mostly in portrait orientation.

As the computer purchase progresses, I will keep that idea in mind certainly!  I do very much like the idea of one central monitor and one cantilevered off (in the case of my desk) to the right.  That could likely satisfy my desire for a central view AND my wife's desire for the double monitor simultaneously.  

I, too, at one time thought that portrait orientation would be a big deal, but in practice I've found that having two monitors with 5K resolution is even more important than having the ability to rotate one or both. I hope that both of the monitors you've selected have 5K resolution (not 4K or less). That costs a bit more, but the usability difference (for me, at least) is huge.

Hmm.  How is the usability improved for you in a 5K?  I am investigating more about these monitors I am considering.  I believe the two I had considered are "Full HD" which I do not know (yet) this compares to either 4K or 5K models.  If you have insights, I would appreciate them as I also investigate further.  

Pepperlady

I'm a fan of insane history. Here is first part of the one on Hemingway...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urhwJbCXgEA

Pepper.... THANK YOU!!!  I greatly appreciated that video!  It was a nice synopsis.  I liked the bits of video footage too in addition to the still photographs!