Thinking About Not Thinking
As usual, I have some convoluted thoughts.
I have been thinking again as a way to try to figure out how to feel more "passion" and how to feel more "joy" and "life". And, through THINKING about this extensively, I am coming again to the pardoxical conclusion that perhaps what is dampening my "passion" and what is quelling my "joy" and feelings of being "alive" are that I....
think too damn much.
As I was gently waking up in bed, I was feeling content and relaxed. But, as I started to ruminate over my day, I became less happy, less content, less relaxed. And, in many ways, I DO NOT need to ruminate over things. Hell, I can do MOST of the day-to-day tasks on close to "auto-pilot". But, I rarely do things on "auto-pilot". But, perhaps I should?
If I could be more on auto-pilot on the things that are not mattering to me, might I then have more time, more ability to see and feel joy and passion? Might this be a way to live more fully?
Part of me bases this on the things I have noticed about one of my brother-in-laws. This brother-in-law worked his whole life in various, rather simple, non-stressful, low-expectation.... blue collar positions. From the many decades I have known him, he has been one of the most happy-go-lucky folks I have known. Before he retired, he would simply get up and go to work, with virtually little or no care, and WHEN HE WAS FINISHED for the day, he would be happy, he would joke around, and just have fun..... at least that is how I have always viewed his demeanor and behavior. He is an intelligent fellow and can speak a lot about his various hobbies, with great minutia to detail such as the old car or truck he is refurbishing or the rod and reel he just acquired for future fishing trips. But, I do not think I have ever seen nor heard of him ruminating about anything. And I have never especially seen him thinking or worrying about work or about.... anything.
I do not know. Perhaps I am seeing only the surface. I am not sure.
* * * * *
Air quality was a little bit better today, but still better theoretically for me to be indoors, so that is where I ran.
The only places currently, that I know of where I can often slip into that "non-thinking" state are a) when I am drifting off to sleep and flipping through (like with a Roledex) various beautiful pipe memories in my mind (but, that actually must be "thinking" of a sort), b) in the pool, and c) most of the time at the Retiree's Cigar Group.
I (convoluted thinking again) need to think of ways to stop thinking all the time. I do not think it is to my benefit to be so in my mind, ruminating.
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
Professor, would I be correct to understand from your musings that your pipe smoking was formerly an auto-pilot pastime that didn't require great thought while providing a joyous background for all the thinking you had to engage in? When you now write about indulging in your pipes, that seems to have changed; the theme now seems to be that you feel you could only indulge if you were to exert tremendous thought/will so as to control that indulgence in your formerly happy pastime. If so, what might it take for you to be able to reclaim your pipe smoking as an auto-pilot joyous backdrop to your thought-full life?
Thinking is OK, but overthinking is definitely ruinous to our peace of mind. It keeps us from living in and enjoying the present moments. (in my humble opinion!) In teaching, we can never leave our jobs at work, even when we're at home. I envy those who have the types of jobs where they put in their time and then forget about work when their shift is over.
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