Do Not
I am trying to scribble these thoughts down before I head to class:
Do not get me wrong.... I greatly, greatly appreciate, enjoy, and relish going to the Retiree's Cigar Group. It is the one especially peaceful, quieting (mentally), yet raucous (filled with joking and laughter) thing I get to do each week. I look forward to it every week. I look forward to going tomorrow!But.... it is NOT a pipe.
But.... also do not get me wrong..... I enjoy indulging in a cigar at the Retiree's Cigar Group. It is fun. The cigar does add to the peaceful, quieting, yet invigorating feelings of the event.
But... it is NOT a pipe.
I do not "crave" a cigar. I have never actually “craved” having a cigar.
I DO crave my pipes and pipe tobaccos. Every day. Every day, I still have a longing to have one. Every day.
It does undulate some. That was the whole purpose of my PCS my "pipe craving score" that I had done relatively faithfully for a spell. With the "zero" to "ten" scale, I can say I do not believe I have ever reported or felt a ZERO. Never.
This week the PCS has screeched upward with a tremendously sharp incline. Whether it is the Fall temperatures reminding me of the beauty of the many pipe tobaccos in my various stashes, or perhaps a neural circuit was fired as a suggestion of how to cope from this weekend's hardships, or perhaps the melancholy of my thoughts of my dog have re-ushered into my memories how for so many YEARS it had been my norm to sit out there on the back porch with her, my pipe in hand as I observed the day.
Regardless.... the desire, the yearning, the "craving" now is damn near a PCS of 10. I would say it is at 9.5.
A pipe is a pipe and is not a cigar.
I do not UNDERSTAND the difference. BUT, it is real, it is true. I have KNOWLEDGE of the difference. But, no understanding.
PipeTobacco
1 Comments:
Professor, are you making good progress on your "three fathers" memorial display? As you've given yourself permission to enjoy a pipeful of tobacco as part of that creation process, I trust that the experience of that will help you discern the ongoing role of your pipes in your life -- whether your time of abstention has been an important but temporary phase or is in fact a permanent shift in your identity. Are you truly "you" without your pipes, or are your cravings not just for "a pipe" but for the connection your pipes provide with so much that you have valued in your life?
You've recently written about the value of enjoying an experience rather than enduring a task. Is it possible that your abstaining is a task (however valuable it may be for a while), and that this task is cutting you off from an experience that you know is uniquely joyous and enriching?
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