Bachelor Status

 

I am going to be a bachelor beginning tomorrow through until Tuesday.  My wife is traveling on a work-related trip and I shall be home to do my normal work and to, of course, tend to our pets.  

In order to spend more time with my wife this evening, I am forgoing the Retiree's Cigar Group this afternoon.  I may go to the cigar shoppe on Friday, possibly.... some of the regulars often go multiple times a week and although not a "scheduled" event, I think there is a potential for me to meet up with at least one or two of them if I plan my Friday correctly.  If I go, it will be interesting to see and feel how a different type of participation feels..... not the more "semi-formal" Retiree's Cigar Group.  

I have been working on a small package to secretly insert into my wife's luggage for her on her journey.  It consists of four cards with hand-written thoughts and ideas of love and encouragement in each, a small 10-line poem for each card that I wrote regarding my love for her and how I look forward to her return, and a small package in which I have two sets of four treats she especially likes.... four chocolate dipped Oreo cookies and four chocolate, hand-dipped caramels.  The hoped for plan is that she will, upon finding the package Friday afternoon..... in the evening each day of the journey, she will be able to spend a bit of time opening and reading a specific card and also its included poem, and enjoy a cookie and chocolate as she winds down from the day.  I am hopeful she will feel a bit more deeply, even though we are apart, my love for her with these small gestures.

Stoicism is an ancient Greek and Roman philosophy designed to foster a good life by maximizing virtue, managing emotions, and focusing solely on what is within our control. It emphasizes four cardinal virtues—Wisdom, Courage, Temperance, and Justice… to attempt to achieve mental tranquility and resilience. 

The Dichotomy of Control: The most crucial principle is differentiating between what we can control (our thoughts, actions, reactions) and what we cannot (external events, other people's opinions, the past).

Virtue is the Sole Good: The Stoics believed that virtue (living according to reason and nature) is the only true good, while vice is the only evil.

Rational Emotional Regulation: Stoics believe emotions like anger are irrational reactions to judgments, which should be managed through calm, reasoned thought.

I had not thought about this rather "stoic/Hericlitus" form of philosophy in quite a number of years.  But, I was at a talk on campus yesterday that was of a speaker (neuroscience focused) brought to campus who had as his focus, the discussion of how to experience change in one's self, you first needed to identify clearly the emotions you are feeling and categorize them into emotions related to things you have no ability to control or regulate, versus those that you CAN exert some control over.  So, for instance, the impact globally of climate change is not something you as an individual can truthfully change.... so in the "stoic" philosophy you should work to ignore the emotions (fear, worry, etc) of this global change because it is so large, and you as one person cannot change this "big picture" problem.... it is only fruitless energy wasted to dwell upon.  Yet, what the stoics would instead guide and suggest  would be to instead focus on what you CAN control, and in a mindset of calmness and rationality.... make the local, change(s) you can and devote your energies towards that effort (for instance, decrease the use of plastics, use less fuel, keep the winter thermostat lower).  

As is much of philosophy, it is a bunch of "mind games" but in many ways these can be useful.  The speaker suggested that mental happiness and clarity can be substantially improved by following this sort of guidance by the "stoic" philosophers.  And, in hearing this again, it rang as rather true and valuable for my mind.  

In some regards, it is akin to the "Serenity Prayer" that folks who are in AA attempt to use as a guide..... in a nutshell..... know what you can change, and work on that.  

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