Exhausted

 

I am rather exhausted this morning as I stayed up (not by desire) until ~3:30am last night.   The issue, was that I had spent a fair amount of time cleaning yesterday and getting things out for the trash (pickup is today for both regular trash and recyclables in my neighborhood).  

I was feeling really good about the cleaning I did, and about having had a good band rehearsal as well.  I had made myself a turkey sandwich on rye (with spicy mustard and guacamole), my usual salad that is bigger than my head, and some mixed vegetables.  And, with my wife away, I watched two episodes of Cannon (William Conrad is the primary actor.... great show).  

Then I prepared for heading to bed.

BUT....

I could not find my bite guard!

It may sound preposterous for folks who do not have TMJ.... that the loss/misplacement of a bite guard can cause HUGE distress.  But, it can and does.  I have five different bite guards (and have chewed through a dozen more over the years), but EACH BITE GUARD IS DIFFERENT from each other.  Some work well, some not as successfully.

Long time readers may have read (a few times) when I reported how several years ago, my dog DESTROED (chewed into bits and ate) the very best bite guard I ever had.  With that bite guard, I had stable, pain free jaws for several years until the dog ate it.  

It was very hard after the loss of that bite guard.... the others in my collection did not do anywhere near as good a job, and I would have sporadic episodes of pain and discomfort.  

Finally, now in the present, I have been using one particular bite guard that is stable enough in terms of performance that I only have an occasional flare-up in the condition.  It is my current, prized bite guard.  

AND..... I could not find it.  

This sent me into a panic.... Did I throw it away while cleaning?  Is it sitting somewhere where the DOG MIGHT FIND IT and eat it?  Did it drop out of my pocket during my travels and it could be who the hell knows where?!?!  

I searched and searched until 1:30am around the house.... looking everywhere I could think of SEVERAL times.  Each pass through the house ratched up my anxiety.  

I was just planning on pulling out all the bags of trash in our trash bin, to dig and sort through them.... when I had a thought.... MIGHT I HAVE LEFT IT ON MY DESK AT THE U?  I was not sure, but I was remembering that I had started talking with my wife (on the phone) at my desk and may have taken it out to speak with her.  

My mind percolated that idea for a while, and eventually I thought.... I HAVE to go there and see if I can locate it.  

So, I drove to the U and got there around ~2:00am.  

NO BITE GUARD on any of my desks nor in my lab.  I was utterly defeated, beyond tired, and filled with anxiety.  I needed this bite guard.  I was angry, worried, and dead-dog tired.  

I got back home ~2:45am, and took all the trash bags out onto the front porch and turned on the front light so I could begin the process of sorting through all the garbage.  But, it sounded so horrible, I thought I would look around the house ONE MORE TIME.

Amazingly, I DID find the damn thing!  It was in our master bathroom.... it had fallen behind a seashell statue that we have on the windowsill.  It must have fallen out of my pocket while I was cleaning and tidying up the bathroom and it fell just perfectly behind the shell statue that I could not see anything until I moved the shell itself.

I was so thankful and relieved.

I went outside and returned the trash bags to the garbage can. And then I washed up, brushed my teeth (and brushed my bite guard), and went to bed..... 3:30am.

PipeTobacco

Addendum:  I also dreamed ("nightmared") last night...... I was picking through seemingly hundreds of garbage bags, searching and searching for my bite guard.  I am sure that added to my exhaustion upon awakening.