Tire

 

I am tire...."d'..... TIRED.  I am so tired, I did not have the energy to put the "d" in my title.  😀

With band rehearsal last night going until late, I was looking very forward to getting home to relax, eat, spend some time with my wife and then go to sleep.  The evening did not turn out quite like I envisioned: 

• My wife decided to attend a movie while I was at rehearsal.  That is good, and the film she picked was an interesting documentary she wanted to see.  
• But, instead of it being a good time, when she eventually arrived home (~15 minutes after I did), she was distraught.
• That which I no longer talk about here caused quite an emotional ruckus with my wife with a phone call during the film.  
• The information about the causer of my wife's ruckus was explained to me, leading to me being also in an emotional ruckus.  
• We attempted to address the causer and help, but have been met with radio silence.
• That is where we still reside.  As a result neither I nor my wife went to bed until roughly 1:00am.  
• I could NOT force myself out of bed at the appropriate 5:00am to complete my run.  
• Eventually, I literally FORCED myself out of bed by 5:45am to begin the damn run.   I was exhausted the moment I awoke.  The last thing I wanted to do was run.  But.... I forced myself to do so.
• I forced myself by shear grit (no joy) to get the whole damn 10 miles in (~16km).
• I have been working like a dog ever since with lots of big voice lecturing interspersed by lots of meetings (Zoom and also in-person).  

Maybe folks are right and I should just say "to hell with it" and go back to smoking my pipes however, whenever I would like?  It would initially be a far easier decision than the decisions I make multiple times every single day to continue on my pipe-less journey.  A pipe would nourish my mind.   Long term, however, I fear my worries would eventually return as well.... at least some day down the road.  

Off to do more editing on the damn grant application.

PipeTobacco