Just Struggling
I am just struggling to keep up with things. Unfortunately, one of the people who has been a thorn in my side at work again did more to hurt me and I have been dealing with the sadness of that. This person was quite mean, unkind, and harsh with me on Tuesday of last week. I have also been struggling to get through the semester's work along with preparing students for a smaller, regional meeting I have four research groups presenting their findings at in the middle of May.
I was at the most LOW of my emotional turmoil on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week. With kindness, and an understanding ear from my wife, I have been able to recover enough to carry on. But, I can say that I am enormously sad and frustrated and hurt still. But, it does me no damn good to dwell on things. Most of my energy is going to trying to keep the dark thoughts of gloom out of my mind as much as I can.
The one pleasant item I FORCED myself to do this morning, was to run outside for the first time in several months. I really did not want to run, and I did not want to run outside either. But, I knew it could help me drive out some level of that sadness. So, I FORCED myself to do this. I was able to listen to Mass while I ran. The homily spoke of forgiving one's enemies. I know and understand I must do that. But, with my wounds so fresh, it is hard. But, I must embrace forgiveness as my goal.
PipeTobacco
4 Comments:
I find that it takes me a while to reach that level of forgiveness and have given myself grace to work through my feelings of hurt and bitterness. I'm very sorry that this person acted this way toward you; that says so much about him/her and NOT about you. I admire your attitude about it, PT!
I'm sorry there is a hurtful person in your life. I hope talking and writing about it takes out some of the sting, and that running helps too.
If running outdoors helps, you should be due for a lot of help in the upcoming days, weeks and months.
I would take the issue you’re having with this person to the provost or other authority. If you are being mistreated it should be addressed. Also, your life of late seems to be centered around tedium and toil - time for a change?
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