Comments on Comments (PART A)... Apology to Pam J & Explanation

This week, I am going to seperate my comments into one comment I speak about today, and others from last week that I will speak about tomorrow (Tuesday).  I think this is warranted because I want to clarify some of the things I said last week and Pam J's comment helped me to see how what I wrote could be thought of as negative.... negative in ways I DID NOT INTEND to be negative.  So, let me begin:

Last Friday I spoke about how I was going to give talk at an environmental meeting this past Sunday.  The meeting was a political meeting/protest sort of thing about global warming.  When I realized it was a political rally sort of thing, I then wrote in my post last Friday that it was: 

"a sort of "granola-y," "hippy-esque", "tie-dyed", "protesting", "kumbaya" sort of rally-like affair being held either inside or outside at a bar" 

The above quote of my post is what I want to focus upon today, because regrettably I can see now how the above statement could be easily viewed as ME being NEGATIVE about such events.  Pam J, a very nice friend and reader of my blog posted the following important comment about what I wrote:

"Respectfully disagree. You were probably invited precisely because they want an academic type (dry or not). Just because they seem like crunchy-granola folks to you doesn’t mean they’re not serious about their cause. There are entirely too many stereotypes in our current society. In my opinion."

So..... to start with.... I wish to sincerely apologize to Pam J and to anyone else who read what I wrote and felt I was being negative about the types of political rallies/events I spoke of.  

And, now I hope to EXPLAIN more accurately what I actually meant when I quickly wrote my previous post......  I am going to do so in bullet points to make it easier for me to clarify what my INTENDED thoughts were from that post:

• I have been to many political talks and rallies over the years.  My own political persuasion would best fit into the label (not a perfect label by any means, but the one that is probably the best-fit)  of being a "union supporting, liberal democrat".   
• I have two rather treasured mementos of past political talks/rallies I have hanging in my home office.... one a signed playbill from the esteemed author/political satirist, Kurt Vonnegut from a time in the late 1970s where I was able to hear him speak.... and another of rally poster signed by Abbie Hoffman from an anti-nuke rally I attended in the early 1980s.  
• When I used the terms "granola-y," "hippy-esque", "tie-dyed", "protesting", "kumbaya" in my prior post, I DID NOT INTEND for those terms to indicate anything negative.  I have always enjoyed being in that sort of crowd at a variety of different venues and events.  I HAD MEANT to use those terms simply to GIVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE FLAVOR OF THE EVENT I was being asked to speak at.
• My NEGATIVITY (which I can feel in my post) was meant to reflect my own negativity about my ability to meet the needs of this request to speak.  I happen to be really an introvert at heart, but I have a job/career that involves public speaking.  That is sort of akin to oil and water.... they do not mix well, and if you shake things up to make them mix, it only lasts a while.  
• I LEARNED how to speak publicly in the CLASSROOM and believe I do a pretty damn good job of it.  I have also LEARNED how to speak publically at the various RESEARCH MEETINGS I attend, and I believe I am reasonably adept at that.
• BUT.... and here is "the rub" of the matter..... I had never spoken at a political rally/event of this sort before..... and to do so EFFECTIVELY and SUCCESSFULLY a speaker has to have a dynamic nature that is far different than a successful classroom lecture and is far different than a successful research talk.
• I feared I would fail.  I feared I could not do what was hoped for.  I feared I would not be up to the task.  I admire folks who can be so dynamic and politically vocal and passionate.  I do not know if I measure up successfully.
• So, my grousing and hemming-and-hawing and my negativism..... that was ALL MEANT to be about me, and my worries and fears of my own shortcomings to be a dynamic, interesting, inspiring, and motivating speaker in this very new to me sort of speaking engagement .... a political rally/protest sort of event.  
• I did not know if I could pull it off.   Could I SUCCESSFULLY give this group the presentation they wanted?!?!  I know I could talk about and explain global warming and why and how it is occuring.  I know I could talk about how global warming impacts wildlife and also human agriculture.  I know I could talk about how global warming impacts other forms of pollution.  But, could I do so WITHOUT coming across as a boring, "egg head"?  Could I do so WITHOUT being perceived as a droning "nerd"?  Could I do so in a way that HAD a dynamic quality that befits a political rally?  Could I do so in a way that would be successful in meeting the needs and desires of that group?  Would I be able to fit in AS A SPEAKER?
• The prior bullet point (above) is perhaps the best way I can try to state WHAT my negativism and worry was actually about.  I was feeling very insecure and unsure of myself.  I was worried that I would put folks to sleep.  I was worried I would completely miss the mark of what was wanted.

So.... specifically for Pam J but for anyone else who similarly felt negatively about my Friday post.... I again apologize.  My word choices were made in a rather "off the cuff" fashion of my trying to express my worries.  But, I did not succeed in relating what I had MEANT in my own heart and mind.  

I hope the above clarification helps in better understand what my intended message was.

I have written too much today and need to get back to my U work.  I will also do a post about the rally itself in the next couple of days.  

PipeTobacco