Retirement?

Today, my wife and I went to a meeting with the fellow who represents the U's Retirement Funding System. It was both a positive and horrifically frightening meeting.  

He advised us to schedule a meeting with one of the "U's Retiree Specialists" so that we can learn about "ins and outs" on how to best organize our retirement.  All sorts of things come into play and I heard a lot of terms that make my head spin like "Required Minimum Divestment" and "Roth Annuities" and a whole helluva lot of other financial jargon.  

The fellow we met with today estimates that we "likely" can retire with a "monthly drawdown" that would match our current needs with excess.  All of this is frightening as hell to me.  

While I think it would be wonderful TO retire..... I absolutely FEAR the idea of becoming destitute.  And, even though it may be foolish to think so.... I have had nightmares and fears of "retiring" and becoming homeless and having to live on the streets.   I think I may have (perhaps too literally) taken my parent's stories of living during the Depression deeply to heart.  

The fellow asked me to imagine something that I thought would be a sort of "splurge" I would like to do, and so I tried to think of one.  Eventually, I thought of one and I told him that I would consider it a massive splurge if I were to buy myself a bright orange Jeep Wrangler........USED.  He laughed, especially at my "used" addendum but said I could "easily" do that in retirement.   

So, I asked this U sponsored fellow if he could recommend a book or two that he thought would in a LEGITIMATE way teach me about the ins and outs OF what to THINK ABOUT in order to retire.  He had two that he thought were well written, accurate, and he added.... "intellectual" as well.  I am HOPING these two books may allay some of my financial fears. 

I have ordered these two books and I and my wife will read them.  We have an initial meeting scheduled in July to meet this so-called "Retiree Specialist"..... and I already scheduled a Fall meeting with our current fellow that I spoke with today.  

It is still well over AT LEAST a full academic year out OR MORE LIKELY LONGER PERHAPS..... but I am now more seriously CONSIDERING the possibility of retirement.  

Besides the fears of financial peril through retirement..... I also have to begin to address and think through my fears of "Who will I be?" after I retire?  I know I do identify VERY strongly with my role as a professor, and I am more than a little worried about WHAT WILL I BE after I am no longer a professor?  Who will I be?  Will I be anything anymore? It scares me in many ways to think of the loss of my identity.  

I do KNOW I need to do a helluva lot of searching and thinking and working through this potential idea of retirement.  It scares me.

PipeTobacco