Saddness
I am in a very blue mood at the moment, but I am trying to work my way out of it. My blue mood stems from a usual source....
One of the two folks that have been hurtful to me long-term at the U..... this person, unexpectedly again was truly hurtful, mean, and mean spirited towards me. This is the person who had been a former friend as I have spoken of before.
The unexpected nature of this, and the sneaky, yet chaotic type of unpredicted meanness she displayed.... well.... I should NOT be surprised. But, I was. And, even though I have been trying to just push through, it has brought up the whole helluva lot of memories of her past doings that hurt and stung as well.
I know there is not really a helluva lot I can do about this OTHER than push through it and move on. But, no matter how I KNOW this is the only option, it is still damn hard to get myself there.
This really was not pleasant to experience yesterday, especially with the myriad of on-going work I need to do in preparation for the start of the Fall Semester.
Also, due to a "back to the U" meeting I must attend today, there will be no Retiree's Cigar Group either. By the time I would get there, everyone would be long gone.
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
Professor, if this chaotic and sneaky meanness was inflicted on you in the course of academic activity, can you enlist the support of a college dean or other senior administrator who might at the very least be an empathetic sounding board but might actually become an ally (and protector if the meanness/sneakiness is not just subjectively hurtful but actually impedes your academic and professional work)?
Another approach: Is there anything you could do in the spirit of Romans 12:20, showing this person unmerited kindness and support despite her awfulness toward you? Best-case, as a former friend you might melt her heart a bit and regain some of what was lost. Middling-case, you might confuse her and leave her feeling guilty for her actions. Worst-case, at least you would know in your heart that she hasn't brought you down to her level of sneakiness and meanness.
Anyway, if there is something that you know is important to, or valued by, this hurtful person, is there any way you could return to her your kindness in repayment of her hurt?
Especially if this colleague has hurt you publicly, and your other colleagues are aware of her actions, your taking the high road might be exactly the response she neither expects nor wants, yet might be not only the best spiritual choice for you but also the most practical choice in winning over your co-workers and making your/their hurtful colleague look like a selfish and desperate loser by comparison.
But if her conduct has violated any academic norms rather than ordinary personal ones, I do hope you can enlist the aid of senior academic administrators.
I don't understand meanness so I hurt for you. You seem like a fair and likeable person who always tries to do his best in his job and with his colleagues. Is she jealous? Power hungry? I would say that's it's all about her and not you, but that's no consolation.
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