The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Friday, April 01, 2011

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So Fed Up! (My "Late Bloomer" Mid-Life Crisis)



I am feeling about as fed up with things as Ben Bernanke is about the economy I suspect, so last night in a fit of passion, bordering on rage, I did:

1. Shaved off my beard and moustache for the first time since I was 19 (that is a helluva long time ago).

2. Took all my pipes out of their various locations around my home, truck, shed, office, lab, wife's car, garage, and anywhere else I could remember storing some, and then proceeded to put them in a pile on the driveway and stomp on all of them. The breaking of the stems and bowls left a messy rubble. I quit!

3. I took the "pledge" to be a damn tee-totalling abstainer.

4. I took a bottle of my wife's hair dye and proceeded to dye my hair so that the top of my head now looks like a matt of dark brown yarn.

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April Fools!

Yes, I know my "joke" may not have been that surprising, and that the transparency of my "actions" were perhaps obvious falsehoods to you my long-time readers and friends. But, it was the best I could come up with in a moment after realizing on the way into work that it was April Fool's Day. I only remembered after listening to a perfectly deadpan story on NPR that was preposterous BUT delivered in a perfectly normal tone.... that I put it all together about what day it was.

I hope you may have gotten at least a glimmer of a smile from my attempt at a joke.

PipeTobacco

12 Comments:

Blogger Doc said...

Hey Professor,

We've got Flash Fiction Friday up and running again with most of the old gang from Cormac Brown's FFF. It works just like the old one except the deadline is Thursday. I'm hosting this week and I'm trying to drum up some new authors. Drop by and say hello to some old friends. You can find the page here: http://www.flashfictionfriday.com/

We're also on Facebook. Just search Flash Fiction Friday.

Hope to see you there, and thanks.
Doc

Friday, 01 April, 2011  
Blogger BBC said...

I don't bother myself with the April Fools thing. But now that you bring it up, Sharon cashed out this morning. Ka Ching!!!!

Really....

Friday, 01 April, 2011  
Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Good on you for publishing it before noon.

Friday, 01 April, 2011  
Anonymous college papers said...

Good Post Prof.

Saturday, 02 April, 2011  
Anonymous college papers said...

Good Post Prof.

Saturday, 02 April, 2011  
Blogger Unknown said...

wow...thats a good april fools joke. my mouth dropped when you wrote that. i was sad when you wrote about breaking your pipes and shaving your beard. thanks for the comment and motivation on keeping my moustache. i try to take my nikon out in public, but the fear of being mugged keeps me from taking it out. little by little i seem to take it out. i want to try street portrait for one project.

Saturday, 02 April, 2011  
Blogger amelia said...

I thought it was real until I got to the pipes. Then I knew...

Saturday, 02 April, 2011  
Blogger zirelda said...

:)

Sunday, 03 April, 2011  
Blogger BBC said...

Pleasure....

Is taking a good shit while puffing on a pipe.

Or a campfire, drinks, and some good bullshit.

Sunday, 03 April, 2011  
Anonymous churchwarden pipe said...

WOWW!! This post is funny. HAHAHHAA!!

chirchwarden pipelover

Sunday, 03 April, 2011  
Blogger Eric Valentine said...

Hahaha Pipe,, if you did all those things, it's not only your handle you would have to change my friend... LOL Good on you to being in the spirit of the day.. :)

Wednesday, 06 April, 2011  
Anonymous churchwarden pipes said...

LOL! HAHAA! I almost believed it.


--Churchwarden pipes lover

Wednesday, 13 April, 2011  

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