The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Moody, But Hopeful

I have been feeling rather moody the last week or so, and am trying to work it out and get to a better state of mind.  Work has been too busy.  Too much Department Chairman b*llsh*t.  Too many underprepared research students.  Too many rude, and uncaring co-workers who act selfish.  I have also been feeling very concerned and worried that I must change my pipe smoking habit.  I fear failing getting rid of my pipe again.  II fear not doing something.  I worry about how out-of-sorts I feel when I put away the pipe, and I feel angry that I must be too damn dumb, too damn selfish, and too damn chicken sh*tt*d to gear up to do what I need to do to make it happen.  

I feel like doing nothing.  I feel like I have no goals, or hopes, or dreams anymore.  I feel like a robot, simply doing the algorhythm I was programmed to do every day.  

The only minor bright spot I see currently is that I have stuck with the running.  I have been running 28-30 miles a week since sometime in June.  I just passed 900 miles of running.  I still walk and all that, too.  So my exercise is the one constant I have.  

My wife is taking action too to improve her health.  She has Type 2 diabetes and has been working pretty hard for three weeks now to get things better controlled.  I am happy she is feeling motivated.  

I have been contemplating giving my pipe up for lent (starts next Wednesday). When I did that two years ago, I had the closest level to success in getting rid of the damn pipe of the different approaches I have tried.  I do not know if I have enough gumption or stamina to do it though.  

I try to keep in mind that Fenruary is usually like this for me.  I think the Winter and the lack of light bring many of these feelings out in me at this time of year.  I hope I can just keep pushing through it.



Blogger BBC said...

How long since you had a vacation?

Friday, 17 February, 2017  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I wonder if there are "e pipes" as well as "e cigarettes". Sounds as if you need a more gradual approach to quitting.

Friday, 17 February, 2017  
Blogger S. J. Qualls said...

I'm sorry it's going so hard for you. I'm sure you have tried every gimmick there is out there. Maybe Lent will work for you better this time ...

Friday, 17 February, 2017  
Blogger forsythia said...

Maybe now is not quite the time to give up the pipe. If you give up anything for Lent, you should give up being so hard on yourself.

Friday, 17 February, 2017  
Blogger E. Rosewater said...

keep smoking the pipe until you retire. maybe even try putting a little pot in with the tobacco.

Friday, 17 February, 2017  
Blogger JACKIESUE said...

life is one day at a up your pipe..your wife's type 2 diabetes..just life in day at a time.

Monday, 20 February, 2017  

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