So.... Now?
Now that you have been able to see the first time I have tried smoking a pipe, there are several different things I was also hoping to state as well:
1. If you think it would be helpful, I could also try to post some of the writings I had about when my father eventually figured out I was smoking a pipe.
2. Please remember that the tone of the writing of what I had posted the last several days is a tone that reflects my thoughts and memories of the experience from when I wrote them down several years ago. Many of the essays felt more "jovial" about the story than I actually feel today. Yes, the memories are accurate. But, as I am now wanting to figure out how to successfully stop smoking a pipe, there is a melancholy aspect to my feelings about these memories.
3. From the reposting of these memories, I do believe a) that there is (of course) a component of my fondness for nicotine in keeping me from quitting, but that b) other factors also make this effort not as straight forward as just quitting and dealing with the lack of nicotine. There are significant aspects of my history that makes me specifically smoke a PIPE and pipe tobacco, as opposed to other forms of nicotine consumption. These seem to be a) memories and associations regarding my father, and b) memories and associations of who I saw myself as in terms of becoming a "professor" back when I was a teen.
So, I am working on trying to figure out my next step.
PipeTobacco
5 Comments:
You're in a difficult situation, Professor. You now feel ashamed of your attachment to beloved pastime that is a part of your identity. Cannibals who converted to Christianity must have had similar feelings. I think you need to undergo something akin to a conversion, with accompanying rituals and ceremony.
wish I was there to give you a hug.
Although I would like to read more, you have to figure out what's right for you.
Carry on....
the gorilla makes an excellent point.
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