"Positive"

 

The above painting image is "Autumn Reflection" by Leonid Afremov.  I admire his impressionistic style.  

I am trying in the ways I know how, to work to pull out of my very harsh emotional state.  

Part of what I am trying to do (to accept).... is that for the time being, I will feel discomfort and pain in my jaw/ear region.  I will work to do what I can to alleviate that pain.  I will strive to move as best as I can beyond it, and hope that it will..... sooner rather than later.... dissipate.  

Another part of what I am trying to do is move beyond the emotional hurt.  That is in many ways more difficult.  The best I have determined for me to have a modicum of relief from it is to simply try to "ignore" it as best as I can.

* * * * * 

• So, I forced myself to run, and run hard this morning.  I had not ran for a week due to the pain of my ear and teeth.
• Last night, I put together my Eb Contrabass (aka contra alto) clarinet and played some "Bossa Nova" style music I had been interested in learning.  It has been perhaps 3 months since I last did anything with this song, and at that time, I was working on it with my much smaller alto clarinet and my alto saxophone (both also Eb).  But, I had always thought it would be especially fun to play with my almost six-foot tall contra alto.... and I had not actually played my contra alto at all since I had the beast in for a tune-up this Summer.  [Note, I primarily play my Bass Clarinet (Bb) in the community band.... and that alone usually eats up all available music time I end up having each week.  But, I thought that perhaps taking (forcing) some time into my day to pick up my contra alto, might help my mood.]  In case you cannot picture what a contra alto looks like, I have inserted a photo below:

• I am still following "Antibiotic Nazi" 's suggestions of taking a STRONG antihisamine and an NSAID each evening before bed.  She said to take Motrin, which I did the first evening, even though I worry about Motrin's impact on the kidneys and the liver.  I had probably not had a Motrin in perhaps 15 years, so I had anticipated it would be helpful.  But, it was not particularly so.... so I converted to aspirin, which is safer for the kidneys and liver.... and I already have been taking a low dose aspirin for its anticoagulant properties.  I still think I need an antibiotic for my red, fluid-filled middle ear..... even though the "Antibiotic Nazi" did not concur with my thoughts.
• I picked up and forced myself to start a new novel last night as well.  I thought it could help distract me.  I had finished my prior book perhaps two weeks or so ago,, and when I fell into the torture chamber of ear and jaw pain, I just tried to immediately go to sleep.  It felt nice, working my way into a story.
• I did not go to the Retiree's Cigar Group last week because of my ear and jaw.  This week, I am intending to go regardless.  I want to have the congenial talk with my friends.  
• Most of my wind instruments (other than my soprano clarinet).... my alto clarinet, my bass clarinet, my contra alto clarinet, my alto sax and my tenor sax.... all have the basic shape and design of my full bent tobacco pipes.  I always found that entertaining to my mind.  A long time ago, I was able to visit a pipe museum.... and there they had an actual briar tobacco pipe that was carved and shaped to precisely look like a tenor saxophone.  Way back then when I had gone to that museum, I thought that was one of the coolest things I had seen there by far.  
• Tonight, my wife and I are planning another trip to the U's BIGGEST dorm's cafeteria for dinner.  It is really a pretty amazing place, and it is filled with all sorts of very pleasant choices.  And, not having to do any dishes is always a bonus.  I like the variety, which is typically larger (and healthier if you choose carefully) than a typical restaurant.  
• And, if my wife is able to do so timing wise, we are hoping to swim before going to the cafeteria.

PipeTobacco