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Internal Debate

I am slogging through my normal routine, doing what I am supposed to be doing. Today is my 417th day of walking. I am teaching. I am conducting my research. I am writing grants. But there is no joy.

I have the option to head to deer camp for the weekend. Yet I am feeling nonplussed about the option. Below, I list the four options I see for myself this weekend and my opinions about each:

1. Go to deer camp. If I go, I will need to drive about 3.5 hours north of here, and sleep in a grungy cabin with a lot of noise. The positives will be spending a lot of time drinking, playing poker, and talking a lot of silly b*llsh*t.

Current opinion of option #1 - NEUTRAL; usually I am very positive about this option.

2. Do yard work outside. If I take this option, I still have a helluva lot of leaves to mulch or bag, a sh*tload of plants to remove, a boatload of items to tidy and put away, and a snow blower to get into shape.

Current opinion of option #2 - NEGATIVE; I feel I have the energy of a frozen slug.

3. Do work inside the house. If I take this option, I will be cleaning, adjusting banisters and railings, readjusting clocks, moving things to the attic, doing touch-up painting, etc.

Current opinion of option #3 - NEGATIVE; I feel I have the energy of two frozen slugs concerning this option.

4. Sleep away the weekend. - self-explanatory in the title.

Current opinion of option #4 - NEUTRAL to MILDLY POSITIVE; Sleeping away the weekend will perhaps help me during the weekend, but come Monday when I have to be up and "alert" all it will do is make me aggravated as hell at myself for wasting an entire weekend. Sleeping may also increase my melancholy.

So, I cannot thinking of anything else I may do this weekend. But I truly do not have much gumption, much drive, or much interest in any of the above. What do you think?

PipeTobacco