I just completed my five mile run. It was again OUTSIDE which was wonderful. There was a dense fog that I ran through the whole way so it was a kind of ethereal experience that allowed for a great deal of contemplation as I prayed the rosary. It was (the run, the fog, and the rosary) very helpful to get me into a calmer place.
I woke up at 5am and stupidly checked my e-mail. And though I should always expect maximum b*llsh*t with regard to anything regulatory at the U, I was utterly annoyed at an e-mail from one of our grants officers who was nearly apoplectic about some minor issue in wording regarding a research application. She takes micromanaging of inconsequential nonsense that prevents work to a level in experience, I think, that has never been seen on our planet before. My run and rosary helped me put her nonsense into a bearable perspective.
As I sit here enjoying a pipe, while letting the dog eat and do her "business", I am enjoying the surprisingly warm (45 degrees) morning. I am still figuring out about the pipe and Ash Wednesday next week. I have been reading some about "e" devices. I have not seen an "e" pipe, so that is apparently too archain an activity to warrant manufacture of such a device.
For me, there must be something other than JUST nicotine that I get from my pipe. I tried twice a year or two ago to break my pipe habit by saying I could instead smoke a cigarette to help me with cravings. Each attempt lasted but a few days, because for some reason, while I obtained nicotine from the cigarette, it was still a failure. I have never really smoked cigarettes... Never being fond of them, and I thought they might break me from the pipe. But, it did not. So, I am a little skeptical that an e-device will help me fare much better.
I assume I crave the nicotine when I refrain (it would seem obviously so), but there is something else too, and I am not sure what is specifically the attractant in addition to the nicotine with the pipe that makes it so hard for me to quell its deep appeal for me. It does not really make a helluva lot of sense, but there must be other factors I am not recognizing. But, I may still consider some "e" device, but I am concerned it will prove a failure as well. If I try this next Wednesday, I really do not want to fail again.
Thursday is "Taco Thursday" in our house, so I can look forward to that fun meal tonight, when I get home. Now I am going to shower and head to the U.