Emotions All Over the Map
My emotions are all over the map this week. A good friend has decided to retire at the end of this academic year at the U, and it left me feeling isolated and alone. I know it is stupid to feel that way. But, I also know it is how I feel.
I am glad my friend is able to retire and have more flexibility and freedom. But, I am still sad about how it will reduce my day-to-day work experience because the person is not there.
I am trying to be nice.... but, I would much rather the two people who have been a consistent thorn in my side retire, than have this very nice person leave.
Cyborging is intense. Not much else to say about it. I am just busy typing and mousing all the day long. The one positive.... I ordered myself a new keyboard and mouse because the one that my home computer had was glitchy. The new keyboard is wonderful. The keys have LONG travel distances and the keyboard has very nice legs that allow the keyboard to be angled so that the upper keys are pleasantly higher than the lower rows of keys. For me, this position (more of an old-school typewriter key position) is a helluva lot more enjoyable to type on than the flat, barely move keys that are much more common today.
Running.... the treadmill is good and bad. Good, because it gives me an option for running that is safer, but bad.... because it is enormously boring.... and yet it also requires so much concentration to keep on the belt that I do not get to "relax" my body as much as I am used to from running outside.
Pipes... pipe tobaccos.... I am having a lot of intensive yearnings for them both again this week. This is one of those weeks where I do so very deeply feel the struggle. It is such a conflict.... I could so very easily pick up one of my beautiful pipes, and fill it with exquisite aromatic leaf , and nurture flame into the bowl. It would be joy. But, at the same time, I do not know if that is a cowardly way "out" to just simply fall back into the charms of this hobby simply because I WANT to do so? Am I not a man of my word? Am I not supposed to try to become a better, kinder, wiser person?
PipeTobacco
4 Comments:
Am I not supposed to try to become a better, kinder, wiser person?
Adolf Hitler was vehemently opposed to the use of tobacco. Several saints were pipe-smokers. Pipe-smoking may or may not be right for you, but I won't accept the notion that not smoking is necessarily the same thing as becoming a better, kinder, wiser person.
Am I not a man of my word?
When you first abstained nearly three years ago, didn't you write about uncertainty as to whether you would persist? That's not someone who made a promise; it's just someone who wanted an outcome very much. As for whether you've made a binding promise, I would love to throw a canon lawyer or two at you to help you see just how unlikely it is that you would be committing any sort of sin by going back to your pipes.
You may be better off abstaining, or you may be better off going back to your pipes. Nothing you've written here, though, seems to me to be firm evidence for abstaining.
I appreciate the line-"...and nurture flame into the bowl."
Sorry you are losing a pal at the University.
I think everyone's Emotions are all over the Map these Days. You left the back door open and I see the Troll got in but I had to smile based on the topic of your Post, they are sly little Bastards those Trolls. *LMAO* Now they might wander over to my slice of Blog Heaven, you never know. As for going back to a habit you broke, you might regret it, I always have and wonder why I went back to something that clearly I had a reason for ditching? I don't like Smoking at all and never have indulged, but many Pipe Tobaccos have a lovely Aroma, like a pleasant Air Freshener. Bad on the Teeth tho', an Older Friend of the Family indulged his entire Adult life and it had worn his Teeth down where he clenched the Pipe.
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