A Helluva Morning

 

My nerves are "jangly" and stress hormones have been surging through my body for a few hours now. I am awfully damn stupid at times and if you were to look up the definition of the phrase, "absent-minded" there would be a photograph of me.  What my body is telling me I want to do, is to have a "boiler-maker" (a shot of whisky and a beer), have a pipe, and take a nap for the rest of the day.  Even though that is what I WANT to do, I will instead simply persevere with work.  

So, to start... there is nothing serious going on.  But you will understand better my reaction as you read further.  Bulleted lists of thoughts to follow, leading to my "absent-minded adventure":

• Yesterday I ran 12.4 miles (~20km). 
• Work at the U was extremely busy yesterday and I did not get home until ~8pm.
• Additionally, at the U, I went to a retirement luncheon for a buddy of mine.  While I am happy for him as he is excited about his retirement, I feel melancholy about  his not being around day-to-day.
• This morning I ran 11.2 miles (~18km). 
• I was able to clean up, get dressed in my U "Professorial Attire", get “all” my gear into the truck, and start heading to the U like I always do.  As is my usual, I was set to arrive at the U about an hour before my first class (which had an exam today).  

Here is where it goes to hell:

• I am completely at fault.  I am a damn stupid fool.  I know and understand this.  But, I also have a reason for my idiocy that I will explain at the end.
• I moronically, while moving around in the garage this morning, before leaving for the U, left my damn phone on the hood of my truck.
• I start driving to the U.  It is raining.  The first mile or so was relatively slow, leaving the neighborhood, moving towards the busier roads that are the easiest way to access the U most mornings.  I get to the busier road with the 45mph (~70kmp) speed limit.  
• Suddenly, there is a bang on my windshield, and reflexively I look and see my phone (which made the sound by flying up and hitting the windshield) careen off the windshield and away to who the hell knows where.
• Panic sets in.  I navigate across traffic as quickly as I can, which happens to be quite a distance down the road, and because of the road design, there is nowhere to pull off until I see a driveway on the LEFT side of the road where I can leave my truck. 
• I get out in the rain, scramble across four lanes of very busy traffic, and begin to walk up and down the berm of the road, looking into the road itself, fearing the phone would get run over by another vehicle, and also looking along the berm itself, because I was thinking it may have flown enough that it might have landed somewhere off the roadway.  
• Since I was not quite sure where I was at precisely when the damn phone flew off, I ended up walking back and forth a few times over about a 1/2 mile (~0.8km) stretch of the road.  
• Fortunately, it APPEARED my phone was NOT in the middle of road as far as I could tell.  But, I could not see it anywhere along the berm either.  I went back and forth along this 1/2 mile stretch several times before I HAD to leave in order to get to class on time.  Unfortunately, there were also deep ditches along a sizable segment of that 1/2 mile too.  
  
• I got to my office about 3 minutes before class was to start, grabbed the exams, and sprinted across the campus center to the building I was teaching in.  
• I gave the exam, feeling jittery as hell. Was the damn phone being crushed/run over?  Was someone finding it and doing who knows what with it?  Did it fall down a sewer drain along the road (I noticed this drain as I paced back and forth not finding the phone earlier)? 
  
• As soon as the last kid finished, I high-tailed it home and borrowed my wife's phone (after explaining my idiocy to her), and went back out to search again, trying to use her phone to call mine, so I might hear it.  I started pacing up and down again, calling my phone with my wife's phone, hoping to hear my ringer go off.  I peered into the ditches, peered into the sewer drain, and tried to keep my eyes peeled even though I was cold (it was 40 degrees F (~ 4 degrees C)) and wet, and the rain was still coming down steadily. 
  
• I cursed, I prayed, I kept calling the phone, over and over again.  I started to expand the search beyond the 1/2 mile or so I started with.

The conclusion:

• It was around 11:45am when I eventually, accidentally found it.  Unfortunately, my wife's phone ended up not helping much because apparently due the forces received in the fall, the "silent" button on the side of my phone must have been actuated, making my phone NOT ring.  But, what I did, was I must have with my foot, moved some of the taller, wilted grass (from last year) and out from under it, a small orange corner of my phone appeared.  
• Apparently, when it flew off my windshield, it was flung in such a way that it landed and slid under some of this wilted, brown grass and leaves that had accumulated from last winter.  
• Although my protective case had a few scuffs on it, the phone was fully intact, fully functional, and even the screen protector was undamaged.  I was awfully damn lucky.  

I am now back at the U, and I am thankful to my wife for helping me, and thankful I found the phone and do not have to go through all those hassles that folks do if their phone goes missing.  

And, yes, I am unfortunately absent-minded.  I know damn well that was a stupid place to leave my phone.  I even said that to myself when I placed it there this morning.  My absent-minded routine is to check EVERY morning for all the things I need before I leave for the day.  I have done this for decades.... because my absent-mindedness is not age related.... it is an unfortunate, innate part of my genome.  I have been this way all my life.  I was in a bit of a rush this morning when I first left to head to the U, and I did not follow my own routine in regards to my checklist. 

Now, my final caveat.... a big part (pun intended) of why I leave my damn phone all over the place (I lose it in the house and in my lab at the U at least a few times each day.).... is because the phone is TOO DAMN BIG.  When I first was required to get a smart phone (by my wife), that first one.... comfortably fit into my shirt pocket.  I could carry it in a shirt pocket, my pants pocket, or a pocket in my sport-coat or jackets.  It was EASY, and I only occasionally misplaced the damn thing.  But, this replacement phone (had it about 2 years now), while the smallest they currently offer..... is SO DAMN MUCH BIGGER than my predecessor, that it does not fit in most of my pockets.... or if it does (it will fit in a pants pocket) it feels so damn big in the pocket itself that it is rather aggravating.  

Again, this was totally my own fault and my own making.  But, truth-be-told, it would have been significantly less likely to have happened if the phones haven't gotten so damn big.

That is enough.  I am spent. I am cold and wet still.  I can smell the wet wool of my sport coat. 

PipeTobacco