Comments on Comments
Here are replies to some of your recent comments:
AC stated...
"I think you underestimate how tragic another Trump presidency will be."
AC, I apologize that you think I am underestimating how damaging a second Trump Presidency would be. Please know that I think that in the (unfortunate, likely) event that he is re-elected, the amount of chaos and hardship the US and the WORLD will experience... will be exponentially greater than what we experienced during his first term. I think a second term WILL be extremely tragic..... but with the way many, many folks are responding to the events of last weekend and this week..... I think we will have to brace ourselves for his win. I regrettably believe he WILL now win, no matter who we put forth on the Democratic side.
"I can see no reason for feeling shame. You're a guy loaded with troubles, and it appears that you feel things deeply, which is a rather good thing. I also have a feeling that you may be demanding too much of yourself."
I KNOW we cannot plan and organize the timing of our troubles. But, the way in which so many things sometimes pile upon us all at once is quite difficult. I do tend to feel a lot of shame about things I should do, but am either too lazy or too unfocused to do. I feel shame at not being able to do as much work as I could do for my students, or for my research. I feel shame at not as fully as I could, showing the deep, enormous love I have to my family. I feel like a failure because I think I do not try hard enough to do the things I should do. I feel like a failure because I get tired, I get distracted, I get annoyed.
Jennifer stated...
"Please, for the sake of all that is good and decent, let us not give up on defeating Trump in November!"
I truly am not giving up. I am voting for Biden. And, probably ~90% of my closest relatives will vote for Biden, and probably around 60% of the folks I know will vote for Biden. Unfortunately, though, with the "rally around the flag" result of the recent assassination attempt and also the Republican Convention..... I think enough of the few, remaining "undecided" voters.... will be swayed into the Trump camp to make his unfortunate win in November occur.
What would be the best strategy IMO for right now is to absolutely LOCK IN BIDEN as the nominee and a) have folks rally around him, and b) put up as big a push as possible to get apathetic Democrats and "unregistered to vote" on board to do their part.
Liz Hinds stated...
"So if they're protected will you have to leave them there until they want to move on?"
The folks who arrived to do the work for us this past Saturday... seemed to my mind, rather "sketchy". They said they wanted full payment up front on that day, and then said they would work for the next several days. This set off alarm bells in my mind and I told them I would need to "think about things" a bit before proceeding, and I told them I would call the "project leader" on Monday since neither were unable to reach him for me on their phone.
Between Saturday and Monday, my wife and I both thought about it, and we decided to cancel the whole damn thing. There are several reasons:
1. The original plan was done with a sort of "hard sell" approach that we fell into because we were alarmed/nervous when we thought the critters were bats.
2. The plan was for these fellows to put "one-way" gates on the chimney tops (actually only one chimney but it has three outlets).... allowing the birds to get out but not get back in. But, on Saturday, the "sketchy" fellows who arrive to do the work said that these gates would need to be "delayed".... but they still wanted payment.
3. The price quoted was actually a helluva lot of money!
4. I have read that the chimney swifts will eventually leave later this Summer into Fall. Now that we know what they are, the noise is not so bothersome. And, even though I am NOT sure if they are in protected status here.... they are rare enough that I would very much NOT want to harm the species.
Margaret stated...
"I'm glad you found a compromise and now feel more comfortable attending the group. Yay! The bat situation would have freaked me out so I'm happy that they were birds, although they're a nuisance too."
I am cautiously feeling some optimism about this upcoming Thursday! I do think there is a good chance that it will be enjoyable and fun! And, it could a) potentially be a way for me to eventually have an "occasional, metered, prescribed way" to have a pipe once in a while, an b) it could provide a bit of that kind of non-work folks, friendship opportunity that I have not had much of the last several years.
"There is no shame in having troubles and worries; we all do. Sometimes they are few and other times they hit us like bunch of bricks."
Some of the hardships and troubles are ones I feel relatively acceptable in dealing with, but some of the items just seem beyond what my mental and emotional fortitude can withstand. Events that occur that are irreparable (deaths of course, but also breaking of items that are not replaceable) are ESPECIALLY difficult for me to handle emotionally. Also things that have a facet of embarrassment also are extremely difficult for me to wrangle in my emotions about. I think the feelings of embarrassment were what caused my sobbing in the damn car, for instance. There was really nothing I could do SAFELY in the very center of that multi-lane traffic.... except sit there waiting for the tow vehicle. The hundreds (more likely thousands) of people having to work around the blockage of my vehicle while I sat there waiting.... and their looking at me as I sat there was beyond what I could take. And, of course, the sobbing that I did..... only made my sense of embarrassment even more acute as folks drove by.
Pat stated...
"And what's the harm of bringing a pipe or two with you? Your friend already assured you that it would be OK, and as they don't yet know you they might as well get to know the real you, with pipe in hand."
Pat, it sounds like a great IDEA, but until I feel more comfortable in the space, I think it would have me feel to conspicuous and perhaps too pushy for a "newbie" to the group. I do admit that I HOPE that if I do fit in and am accepted to the group, I may bridge the idea of my bringing my pipe instead, as it is a far more enjoyable option if possible.
"I hope you can do something to de-stress."
Believe me, I know and understand that I seem to get stressed fairly regularly. I DO, I sincerely do try to find ways to decrease stress day-to-day. My pipes and pipe tobaccos used to be a primary way I modulated stress. A most interesting thought also occurred to me.... before I began my pipe fast (almost 6.5 years now) I did not think as often about stress. Of cousre I did experience stress.... but it felt less sharp. I am not sure if my pipe would "smooth the edges" of the stress for me, or if my stresses are more of a sharper variety these days.
But, even though my pipes and pipe tobaccos are not a daily option any longer (sadly), there are other ways I do try to manage stress. I run until I am tired enough that some stress dissipates. Swimming helps to lower stress when it occurs at the end of a workday. Those items are helpful.
PeppyLady stated...
"I have an bullet journal.That keeps me on track."
Yes, I remember reading about your bullet journal on your blog!!! And, I KNOW that if I did so more reliably it would help me too. But, I have not had particularly good luck in persisting with the bullet journal sort of "to-do" lists in the past. I am not sure what the problem is, and what I could do to be better at consistently using this idea.
I guess that is it for today.
PipeTobacco
4 Comments:
I have many of the same fears as you, and I definitely agree that we need to get behind Biden and come together! I'm trying to remember that we still have more than 3 months before the election, and of course the DNC convention is still coming up. One thing I'm going to do in the meantime (I plan to write a blog post about it tomorrow) is attend a postcard writing party this weekend and then host one of my own later in the summer. You can get lists of voters in swing states who are independent or non affiliated, and postcards to send them to encourage them to vote Biden/Harris. I want to take concrete action to help the cause. Stewing in worry just increases my anxiety and doesn't help. :)
This may sound strange from an Englishman living in France, but if Trump is such an ogre, why are so many of your fellow Americans wanting to vote for him? To me he is an arrogant looking, puffed-up, cartoon character.
The comments and replies are a good thing and that you do and interesting too. They give a pretty good glimpse into ... well ... YOU, I guess.
Thank you for taking the time to respond so eloquently and in such detail. As John says, we learn a lot about you in the process!
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