Comments on Comments Monday

Some thoughts on some excerpted comments from the last week.  They are arranged alphabetically by person and are in reverse order from last week:

AC stated:

"The description (of Capuchin theology) sounds like what Christians are supposed to be....   ....They have to do with lifestyle rather than religious piety."

Yes, unfortunately, like in MANY religions and in MANY other groups (political, social, etc.) the intention of a group itself is OFTEN corrupted and negatively distorted by some folks who do negative things under the GUISE of that group.  There are MANY people of this ilk.  In my opinion, it does not negate the actual group itself.   

"The group (Retiree's Cigar Group) fills a need in your life although 'need' may be too strong of a word, but you know what I mean."

It is indeed something that makes me feel a whole and complete person, if that makes sense.  It is just a group of regular folks who are becoming my friends and it feels so casual, so normal, so like how an "unencumbered" life feels.  It feels "centering" to go there because it is not about stressors, not about work, not about responsibilities.  It just is "being" if that makes sense. 

"You have a lot of resolutions because you are a thoughtful and sincere guy who always strives to do your best." & "You sincerely try to live a good life and try to keep doing even better than you already do."

I sincerely thank you for thinking so.  I like that at least my intentions are apparent even if I fail often. 

 

GaP stated:

"... Regarding OZ...I was reared on the original MGM film which got me to check out the source material of L. Frank Baum. He wrote fourteen books about OZ before he passed away... So yeah...all these new spins on OZ just don't do it for me."

I am glad what I wrote makes sense.  Do  not get me wrong, the movie itself was excellent cinematic-ally and musically.  It just felt OFF from a story standpoint to me, and felt almost like it wanted to in many ways destroy the beauty of the original, IMO.... which I think would be sad. 

Margaret stated:

"I agree with John (AC) that the description is what Christians are supposed to strive for. How I wish that were still the case with everyone!"

Unfortunately, IMO, there have ALWAYS been folks who corrupt a doctrine, philosophy, faith, or group so that they can attempt to use this corruption to their own devices.  In the modern age, I do believe there has been a rather strong anti-faith push by various groups... and one way they promote anti-faith thoughts by very heavily focusing people's attention on only the negative, horrible things that a subset of folks do using pseudo-faith as a way to do their wrongs.  There are of course many instances of folks who corrupted Catholicism to do harm, and similarly for other faiths collectively called "Christian" as well.  And, the same is true for many other faiths that have had some folks corrupt their message and philosophy.  But also, here is a non-faith example as well..... Unionization of workers is a wonderful action in my opinion, but there have been SOME union "leaders" who were corrupt as hell too (Jimmy Hoffa for instance).  Bad folks doing things in the guise of something that IS good does not, IMO negate the good of the real group.       

"What a coincidence about the grandson being a former student! I'm often running into that since I've lived my whole life in the city I taught in. Someone always knows someone I know! That's wonderful about the cigar group and the lifting/running. It sounds like you have some of your joie de vivre back!"

It was interesting and surprising to me too.  Over the decades of my teaching, I have lots of former students recognize me and want to talk almost everywhere I go, so that is pretty common.  I even have students who come to me and say that their parents (or now even a few GRANDPARENTS) had me as as a teacher).   But it was interesting for the grandfather of a student be interested in making the association.  He reported back to me that his grandson gave me a tremendous amount of accolades and mentioned that I was very dynamic and verbose in class, which impressed the fellow as (as I have mentioned before) I am still (by my nature) relatively quiet at the Retiree's Cigar group.   As for my joie de vivre.... I am hoping it IS back, but.... one thing I do realize is that I have to keep trying even when I am not feeling up to snuff, because it is the only way I know to get to feeling better.  :) 

"I don't know if pleasant memories can be as good as the real thing, but they seem to comfort you. Strength training would be great for me as well but would require buying weights or going to a gym, which I've never been motivated to do."

Very true.... the pleasant memories are in no fashion as good as is actually indulging in my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  There is no comparison.  But, the memories ARE positive.  

"These are all very worthy goals to strive for. The idea is to move forward toward them (in my opinion) and not consider oneself a failure if they are not quite reached. Progress is key." 

That is how I feel too.  Progress IS the key.  I feel it is important to always remain grounded in the idea that to accomplish anything, I think work is the key.  It is interesting that some folks do not feel that way, and I am at a loss on how to understand how they move towards their goals or aspirations.  

"I'm happy about the Cigar Group relaxation and bonding! What a great decision you made to attend. As for the family stuff, we can only separate so much as parents, unfortunately. "

I am very glad I tried the group too and remain thankful to my friend from Mass for inviting me.  You are absolutely correct about not being able to separate from family.  What I find for me, though, is that compartmentalizing those more harsh aspects (when I can figure out how to compartmentalize) helps me to better cope with the other responsibilities of life as well.  As I suspect you may feel similarly, when a harsh thing happens, it can and USUALLY does smother (at least for a while) most other aspects of life.  It is my hoped for goal/aspiration regarding family challenges .... to be there when I can be helpful, and to try to better compartmentalize my worry when it occurs into a workable package that allows me to better continue with the other things I must do too.

Pam J. stated:

"If you make a list of 2024 accomplishments, joining the cigar group will be near the top....  ...I live with an adult son and never imagined that my children wouldn't leave the nest. One did, one didn't. I don't have devastating emotions about this reality but I do worry about this child every day and will until I die. I also review my many mistakes in helping this child with independent living and those feelings can get close to devastating (when I'm in a particularly bad mental place). It's the biggest mystery in my life, and probably my biggest perceived failure. So I get your obsession, even though it might not be an apples to apples comparison."

I am sorry that you are having that challenge.  Although my challenge is different, the feelings seem the same.  When things first started going South, I would ruminate for hours and hours about how perhaps if I had done this, or done that, or focused on this or that, perhaps the outcome may have been different.  For quite a while that was where my mind was continually focused and I felt so many regrets... for so many things I had done that I had hoped were positive things.  Eventually, through a lot of reading, I was able to (mostly) dig out of that "Perhaps if I had...." mentality and realize that my efforts WERE and CONTINUE to be towards doing good for my family members.  Perhaps some of what I did, did not meet some needs, but I cannot say I did not TRY with all the energy I could.

Pat stated:

"Professor, am I remembering correctly that you've had a pleasant acquaintanceship with a pipe-smoking Capuchin friar? Are you still in touch with him?"

Very sadly, this remarkable man who you mention, has passed away.  He was at our Parish sporadically over the course of about three years or so, and I really admired and enjoyed him as a Capuchin Priest and Brother.  He had heard many of my confessions as well, and we had many discussions also about his (and my own) pipe smoking.  He was at our Parish to assist during an extended illness of our Parish Priest.  After that resolved, this wonderful Capuchin was moved elsewhere shortly before he then (due to his own challenges with mobility due to a leg condition) when into an assisted living community.  Unfortunately, he did not last there too long, as when I had found out where he was, I worked to contact him by letter, and was regrettably informed of his passing.   

"Professor, perhaps I'm over-analyzing, but I'm wondering whether there's an interesting aspect of your PCS that I hadn't considered previously. Thinking about what you've written in the past at different PCS levels, I'm wondering: would a low PCS score ironically correlate with less contentment?..."

I am not sure I am viewing my scoring in that sort of fashion.  To me, a low PCS score is more a measure to me of my not having a focus on my pipe smoking habits (desires currently and also perhaps memories of the past).  From the scale I envisioned, I thought the lower the numbers the more I had been able to move "beyond" these thoughts.  

"...It seems that you derive genuine joy from your tranquil thoughts of pleasant pipe memories, such that your optimal PCS wouldn't be in the 0/1 range, but rather would be as high as it could be without severely tempting you to indulge...."

I do indeed derive some level of happiness in recalling pipe memories.  Whether it is a positive or a negative to do so, I am not certain.  In some ways, perhaps it could be viewed as a "crutch" of some sort.  Or, perhaps in a "positive spin" it could be just a remembrance of a former reality I had experienced.  I am not sure which if either way to perceive it is wholly accurate or if there are other reasons.  I do know and recognize that when I am drifting off to sleep I can and typically DO perpetuate "experiencing" these memories in multiple sensory modalities.... touch, taste, olfaction, visually and auditorily.  It is being ALMOST able to experience this modalities is what FEELS helpful in relaxing me to sleep, but again, I am not sure if that is a positive or a negative.

PepperLady stated:

"Looks like all is well."

Things are indeed at a point where things feel more predictable and stable.  So that is good.

Street Writer stated:

"Sir, to get some zest back in running, I suggest you resolve to run a half-marathon race (13.1 miles) this year. I am your age and have run 2 of them and plan on running another in August. And you are a much stronger runner than I am."

I agree with you that I should do this.  One of my son's has been after me to do this last year and would want to do so this year.  I know I CAN (at least at the moment, knock on wood) run a half-marathon, for for the past 5 years, I have vowed to run at least ONE workout to the 1/2 marathon length each month.  I think I WILL try to muster the courage to actually run a 1/2 marathon at an event this year.  I must admit though, that I have NOT done so before this, because I feel extremely self-conscious about running in a group of real runners.  Even though I do run, and I do run a fair amount.... in my MIND I remain the incapable, very chubby kid who failed at anything athletic in my youth.  I remember the guilt, the shame, the feelings of failure when I had gym in high school and it seemed almost inevitably I was in a class with "jocks" of all sorts and my "nerdy", "bookishness" was considered rather repulsive.  But, I do think you are correct, and I am working to overcome my anxiety to register for and run a 1/2 Marathon in public at a race that is relatively close to me that occurs in July.  

That is it for today, I guess.

PipeTobacco

PCS = 7.  Although I have yearnings for a pipe, the busy-ness of having to get things done for the new semester help me push the thoughts to the back of my mind to a degree.

Contentedness Score = 6.  Just a general busy day, but without specific deadlines, so that helps.