The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Tuesday, May 23, 2023



Thank you again for the comments:

Pat:  You are correct in many ways with what you write.  It is difficult, however, when the individual is an offspring.  The other confound is that very unfortunately, my wife and I have had different parenting styles with this individual..... much to my chagrin for a whole lot of years.  In my opinion, my wife has been far more lax and "coddling" of this individual than I have been. Unfortunately, this leads this person to now be rather manipulative and rather bullying to my wife. I do not stand for this and tell the individual so.  It results in my being perceived as a hard ass.  This person rarely if ever talks with me because it is well known that I will not tolerate the behavior.  My wife unfortunately continually tries to appease the individual and the cycle begins again.  

Margaret:  Thank you.  You understand the difficult conundrum well, sad to say.... for I wish no one would experience it.

DMP:  It is always interesting to me to think of how what you say is so true.  There were so few Catholic Churches in the Southern United States that it does make sense that their already widespread distance means few if any end up closing.  

Unknown:  You have many similar thoughts as Pat.  And, they are also very valid.  It is unfortunately difficult to manage when your spouse who is also half of the "team" is on a different page than you.  And, try as I might.... my spouse's resolve and actions change moment-to-moment in this regard.  Sometimes she wants to take a more prescribed, consistent approach like I lobby for, and then the next minute she changes her mind and actions.  

* * * * * 

  • Only 6.2 miles this morning (10 km).... overslept like I should not have.  It is frustrating.
  • My teaching voice is very, very tired now.  
  • I have been trying to see if my wife will want to swim now that I am done for the day.  I have not heard back yet.  If she does not want to go, I think I NEED to still go... even though it will be by myself.  
  • I am still wishing for a pipe.  Yet, there seems to be nothing really to say.



Blogger Pat M. said...

Professor, on Monday you wrote:

I am just not sure if I simply gave up and went back to them..... if I would feel the beautiful joy of my pipes and pipe tobaccos again, or if I would just feel guilt, shame, and worry. 

And yet, considering so many of your other comments, it’s clear that you are RIGHT NOW feeling plenty of guilt, shame, and worry. Abstaining hasn't made you free from guilt, shame and worry — feelings that seem to be your norm no matter what you do. So, as you reflect on whether or not to continue abstaining, I wonder whether you might do well to give greater weight to other factors and (paradoxically enough) not worry about worrying.

Tuesday, 23 May, 2023  
Blogger Margaret said...

I don't trust anyone who has easy answering to parenting conundrums so I won't offer any. My husband was lax and I was the hard ass, but he always deferred to me so the kids couldn't manipulate.

Tuesday, 23 May, 2023  

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