.
The Merry-Go-Round

It grows ever more tiresome, and I grow ever more frustrated and despondant about this same b*llsh*t happening time and time and time again. As seems to be my lot in life, I am the caretaker for the legion of sick individuals around me. An elderly relative is ill with a chest cold/pre-pneumonia condition, the wife is coping with a similar respiratory ailment, two of the grandkids are also expelling nasal secretions like a firehose. It is the same old thing, day after day, after day, after day.

As the one who is usually healthy and fit, it is up to me to care for and help the sick ones. Usually this is tiresome, but ok. But this time of year add to this the idea that I have a national conference to attend next week and have 5 different students who need me to help them organize and analyze their data FOR THEIR talks plus put my own two talks together. And add on top of this the guilt I feel because I am backing out of a few weeks of concerts and shows that the community orchestra that I belong to is performing.... because I do not have the time, inclination, or energy to even put my instrument together, let alone play the damn thing. And add to this that in the past 5 years, I have had significant disruption and/or cancellation of my plans to attend the above mentioned meeting due to this same sort of damn scenerio happening last year at this time, and happenine three years ago at this time and also four years ago.

It seems as if I am cursed and meant to pay some sort of horrid price akin the the film "Groundhog Day" featuring Bill Murray. I am so damn sick of it and so damn sick of most people griping and complaining at me, and I am tired of never having a moment's peace.

Oh well, the above is somewhat incoherent, but I guess that doesn't matter a helluva lot anyhow... in fact, what the hell value or importance is there in any thing at all? Today I suspect the answer is none.

PipeTobacco