The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

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Sadness

The last several days of being under the weather have caused me a great deal of sadness. I have been crying quite a bit as I try to sleep. I am crying about a multitude of things, including:

1. Feelings of failure.

2. Fear of Death.

3. Disappointment in how I am as a person.

4. Fear that I am simply a "zero".

5. Missing of my mother.

6. Fear that I am selfish and not giving enough to those I love.

7. Sadness about the deaths of all my relatives that have passed away.

8. Feelings like I do not show people my love in the way I should.

9. Fear of having more people I love die.

10. Fear of my own death.

PipeTobacco

8 Comments:

Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Most of us are destined to be ordinary people leading ordinary lives. All we can do is try our best and be compassionate etc.

Thursday, 20 May, 2010  
Blogger BBC said...

How can you fear death when you can't die? Sure, your body will die, there is only so much it can take on this planet, but that has nothing to do with the omnipresent spirit part of you.

Friday, 21 May, 2010  
Blogger BBC said...

Stop your fucking whining and buck up like a man.

Friday, 21 May, 2010  
Blogger austere said...

Its all them cytokines and PGs playing up a havoc.

Some rum with lemon and you'll be fine.

Saturday, 22 May, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes being sick can bring you down mentally too. And when you are feeling down it is easy to slide on down the vibrational scale to fear. Fear feels terrible. I hate feeling fear more than sadness. Start trying to turn your feelings toward a better feeling vibration, even anger is better than fear and sadness. We need to teach you how to raise your vibrational energy. Booze just won't do it. I know everyone thinks it helps but it does not. I know a lot of drunks and not one of them is happy.

So stay down for a bit, heal and get over your illness and then start raising your vibrational energy. It is not hard, but liking walking every day, it takes devotion.

Oh, and BBC is an idiot. I mean, if you don't believe me just check out his own blog. Pure crap.

Monday, 24 May, 2010  
Blogger zirelda said...

Are you still walking?

Honestly it is ok to feel that way sometimes. You just don't want to stay there very long Prof.

Monday, 24 May, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read the consolamentum philosophiae.

Tuesday, 25 May, 2010  
Blogger WendyTheWanderer said...

While you are in Utah,go to Temple Square and tour the grounds. Talk to the missionaries...even ask for a blessing of healing and comfort! :-) Get a Book of Mormon. Pray about it. Once you understand that you are a child of God and will go from mortal to eternal life upon the death of the body, you will feel MUCH better. Been there, done that. Honest. Life is good now :-)

Tuesday, 25 May, 2010  

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