The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Plan, Maybe?

Teri and BBC, thank you both for your very helpful comments.  And Austere, as always, thank you for your tremendous encouragement..  I am really not sure which scenario from yesterday is the best one for me in reality, but I am thinking I know what I believe is the best, and which I will likely try to adopt.  Here are my current thoughts as to what I am planning to adopt and why:

1.  Quitting and never indulging in pipe tobacco again probably offers the least risk on many levels...the least risky to health, a potentially lowered chance of "falling-off-the-wagon", and it is certainly the most consistent approach (I tend to like being very consistent).

2.  Quitting and never, ever  indulging in pipe tobacco may be more difficult in a psychological sense for me as I feel more than a bit of melancholy and emotional angst about thinking that I will *not* be a pipe smoker any longer if I quit completely.  At some level I realize the melancholy and angst are foolish, but they are real emotions I do feel.  In theory, those feelings could go away eventually. 

3.  Being an ornery, damn stubborn "tough-guy" to myself, and wrangling my own behavior into submission in a way that demonstrates I have control over what I do, and when I do it has enormous appeal to me.  I am not sure why, but I do know I feel that way innately.  Either scenario would be able to accomplish most of that notion, but if I am as honest with myself, I find the idea of being able to be a occasional (aka, a rare event) pipe smoker... one where I dictate to myself where and when I indulge to be very appealing.  I would, strange as it may seem, feel...  almost... a sense of pride in myself at doing this. 

4.  I do know that there may be significant risk (at least the first several times I try out the idea of being an occasional (rare event) pipe smoker) that I will fall back into the very comfortable habit of daily, nearly autonomic indulgence, with a pipe clenched between my teeth most of the day.

5.  In some ways, being the occasional pipe smoker is appealing to me because it harkens back to my childhood as well.  I did not pick up the pipe and immediately begin smoking every day.  And also, it took a fair amount of time before I began to indulge in smoking a pipe many times a day.  No.... in reality, I began with a beautiful first experience (perhaps I will rerun my long-winded story of my first experience here in the next few days, if anyone is interested), and then after finding I enjoyed it so much, I began to indulge occasionally.  Over time my pipe smoking became the constant companion it has been for many decades, but that is no longer what I want.  I want to be that occasional pipe smoker again like when I was a kid.  I *think* I may have enough stubbornness and gumption to do it, too.  Although I am not sure.  But at least as of today, I think that is the approach I am going to try.

6.  Two additional thoughts that I have some concern over.  A) I am not sure if I should give myself some more "non-smoking days" before I attempt to become an occasional, special event pipe smoker or if I should just go with the flow of when these opportunities arise.  In theory, I could have the opportunity to visit my elderly father-in-law and have libations tomorrow.   In fact, my wife has already let me know that  he has a few tasks he would like my help with.  Now, I could go there and either i) just visit and not drink or smoke my pipe, ii) have a drink with him and not smoke my pipe, or iii) initiate my goal/plan to execute for the first time, what I envision as my new lifestyle of becoming an occasional, "special event" pipe smoker.  The other concern I have is B) that while things are going relatively smoothly right now, I think one specific non-predictable event that will eventually occur may be my *BIGGEST* risk.  There will come a day, someday down the road, where I get royally frustrated and upset and someone or some issue.  I know that a reaction I may have at that time is to say "to hell with it" because of my anger.  I am trying to think though how I can best handle such an event successfully with my new "plan" for myself.   It is difficult, though, in that when I get upset enough, it is all to easy for me to do the "to hell with it" response and pick up my pipe in a habitual manner again. 


Today's (Thursday's) Goal =0 bowls

Yesterday's (Wednesday) Goal = 0 bowls
Actual consumption (Wednesday) = 0 bowls


Blogger BBC said...

I know a few folks that can take it or leave it and just smoke hit and miss.

Like I said, I like to take some puffs when taking a shit but when I went to do that this morning I forgot to take a lighter with me so the pipe just sat for a couple more hours until I lit up for the first time.

There is some pleasure in decent pipe tobacco but Teri smokes those nasty ciggs and that isn't good for her.

Anyway, of the three of us I've been smoking the longest so I'll tell you what will happen in time if you keep smoking, a lot anyway.

Your smelling will go south, and your taste buds, almost all foods will seem bland.

That of course can be reversed by quitting, things are starting to taste good to me again.

Thursday, 29 November, 2012  

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