Pondering
At Mass this weekend, part of the Gospel was:
When the Jews from Jerusalem sent priests
and Levites to him
to ask him, “Who are you?”
He admitted and did not deny it,
but admitted, “I am not the Christ.”
So they asked him,
“What are you then? Are you Elijah?”
And he said, “I am not.”
“Are you the Prophet?”
He answered, “No.”
So they said to him,
“Who are you, so we can give an answer to those who sent us?
What do you have to say for yourself?”
He said:
“I am the voice of one crying out in the desert,
‘make straight the way of the Lord,’”
Am I doing enough with my life? Unfortunately no. The reading above helps me to focus more clearly once again on how I fail, and fail again, and fail again. Why am I such a bad person?
I am a damn lazy bum in most every regard. I am selfish, indulgent, and not who I should be. I should be more giving, more kind, and more accepting. The moments of clarity when I see how I am, and those moments where I am fully aware of who and how I am are fleeting. It is far too easy for me to ignore my numerous faults. I should be harder on myself. I should demand more of myself. I should give more of myself to others.
It is sad how I am. I want to be a better person.
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
Don't you think calling yourself a "bad person" is harsh, a little too black-and-white? I've read your blog for a couple years, and as near as I can tell, you've never killed anyone, so that's something in your favor. Maybe you should think of yourself as a human person, with your fair share of faults and foibles, just like everyone else.
Yes, exactly what Forsythia said, far more kindly than I might have. Geeze-oh-pete!
One of the first lessons we must learn if we are to be better people is to LOVE OURSELVES, warts and all. Until we can do that, we really can't do much for anyone else. Be kind to yourself; be kind to others. Change what you don't like, but don't flog yourself all the time -- that is NOT loving yourself.
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