At Mass this weekend, part of the Gospel was:
When the Jews from Jerusalem sent priests
and Levites to him
to ask him, “Who are you?”
He admitted and did not deny it,
but admitted, “I am not the Christ.”
So they asked him,
“What are you then? Are you Elijah?”
And he said, “I am not.”
“Are you the Prophet?”
He answered, “No.”
So they said to him,
“Who are you, so we can give an answer to those who sent us?
What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I am the voice of one crying out in the desert,
‘make straight the way of the Lord,’”
Am I doing enough with my life? Unfortunately no. The reading above helps me to focus more clearly once again on how I fail, and fail again, and fail again. Why am I such a bad person?
I am a damn lazy bum in most every regard. I am selfish, indulgent, and not who I should be. I should be more giving, more kind, and more accepting. The moments of clarity when I see how I am, and those moments where I am fully aware of who and how I am are fleeting. It is far too easy for me to ignore my numerous faults. I should be harder on myself. I should demand more of myself. I should give more of myself to others.
It is sad how I am. I want to be a better person.