One, Uno. Un, Ein, один

Last year on this date, was the start of Lent for 2018.  It is on that date that I began my fast from smoking my beloved pipes and pipe tobaccos.  So, I have now completed one full year away from them. 

What have I learned during this year?  Several things, both good and bad:

1.  I learned that I *have* been able to muster enough strength and resolve to NOT smoke my pipes and pipe tobaccos. 

2.  I  have learned that it is not always hard and difficult to not smoke a pipe. 

I admit that during the six weeks of Lent, virtually every moment outside of work had me thinking about, missing, and feeling sorry for myself about the loss of my friendly pipes.  But, now, one year later.... I do actually have some times where I do not think about pipes and pipe smoking.  And, I think I have even had a small handful of "whole 24 hour" days where during that day, I did not even think about a pipe or pipe tobacco.  I can say that on average now-a-days, I have roughly 3-4 thoughts about smoking a pipe most days now.... which is considerably less than initially.  

3.  After one year, there are still days where I desperately would love and relish having a beautifully large bowl of beautiful burley tobacco leaf and just sit and indulge, pulling delightfully deep droughts of the thick, chalky smoke from the stem, and feel the beautiful cascade of its pleasures as it saturates my mind, body, and soul.  I probably feel this very deep yearning once every week or so now, but when it happens.... it is intense and fills my mind with thoughts both beautiful and melancholic at the same time, as I struggle to resist the siren's call. 

4.  Over the course of the year, I have at various times of struggle, held an cleaned pipe in my hands or carried it around in my pocket to play with during the day.  I am not sure of the value of this, however.  I think sometimes it does feel nice to touch and hold one of my old, trusty pipes, but then at other times, doing so leads to a bit of sadness. 

5.  Another interesting thing I have learned is that even though I am presuming my "aura" was always rather pleasantly "pipey", and that my pipe tobaccos were always in the more pleasant aroma realm.... I was not really as aware as I now am of how noticeable that "aura" is to a non-smoking individual.  When I meet a person who has been smoking, I notice it far more than I used to.  When it is a pipe smoker (sadly uncommon) I can often times even tell what particular pipe tobacco had been indulged in.  When it is a smoker of another form of tobacco, I find it sharper, and more pungent than I recalled. 

So, today is my one year anniversary.  I am not really sure I want to continue with the fast.  But, at the same time I am not sure I want to rejoin the hobby either.  Rejoining would be easy, and enjoyable, but there are costs of course.  But, fasting also involves its own set of "costs" as well. 

I guess the best I can say right now is that I am reasonably glad I did this, I am happy to have proven to myself that I could do this, and for the time being I will probably just keep carrying on like I have been, but I am not sure of much beyond that. 

PipeTobacco