Blur Cur

 

I am trying to be an efficient sort today, and have decided I am going to work my buttocks off trying to not only stay on top of things at the U today, but try to get a bit more ahead.  That is why I am giving myself only a 20 minute window upon which to eat and write here today:

• 11.1 miles (~18 km) ran this morning.  I was able to roust myself out of bed at 4:55am to do so.

  

• Gave an exam to one class today.

 

• Gave a lecture to another class today....  the focus of this lecture was to talk about and describe various neurotransmitter neural pathway systems that are commonly used to collectively associate major rounds of circuitry in the brain sharing a function.  In what I worked through today, I was focused on the pharmacologically named systems.... these included the muscarinic system, the opiate pathway system, the nicotinic system, the the canabanoid system.  In the next lecture I will then start to talk about other systems named after the primary neurotransmtter itself, for example.... the dopamanergic system, the GABAnergic system, the cholingergic system as well as a variety of others.  I did show the typical slides of brain pathway images, and slides of ICC stained tissues, etc.  But also to try to tie things together for students in a way that would help them remember, while showing slides to accompany the above, I also interspersed slides of people.  For instance, I showed a slide of some indigenous folks in South America using curare tipped darts while hunting (muscarine).  For the opiate pathway, I showed a very interesting, historical photo from the late 1800s of an older gentleman smoking opium.  For the nicotinic system, I had a slide with images of Twain, Faulkner, Einstein, and me (from around 20 years ago) all smoking pipes, and for the canabanoid system, I showed an image of Willie Nelson and Tommy Chong indulging in their favorite hobby.

   

• I have graded my one exam that I gave yesterday.  I have EVEN put the scores into the damn, infernal LMS (the "gizmo-y" electronic classroom in which students like to see their grades.... almost instantly), I had avoided using the GradeBook feature in our LMS until the pandemic hit, because it is a rather annoying and clunky system, AND I preferred to hand back grades on PAPER to students.  But, with my double masking due to damn Covid.... I speak slower in order to even more precisely enunciate.... and I do not want to waste time handing back papers at the risk of falling behind in lecture.  

I feel an almost "writer's block" sort of challenge in terms of discussing my pipes at the moment.  There are SO, SO many things I want to write about, that I cannot seem to figure out how to begin so that my thoughts have some sort of coherency.  I only have a few minutes left, so, I will just ramble:

The idea of smoking my pipes again makes my eyes feel brighter, makes me gait feel lighter, and feels so very exciting to imagine.  Yet, at the same time, I worry.  I worry about smoking my pipes being a hassle in regards to when/where I would indulge.  I worry about struggling to be a LONE WOLF in a vast landscape of of others where I may have to continually defend my choice to others who are shrill and uppity about their own "virtue" because they are blind to their own failings.  

If I were to discern a way that this would feel easy for me day-to-day, at this moment I think if I would do this, I could attain what I am seeking:

1.  I would have one day each week where I could freely smoke my pipes and pipe tobaccos as I saw fit.

2.  On the other six days of the week, I would not pine for them, and would not have to struggle to avoid to simply sliding back into the (admittedly quite comfortable) pattern of simply indulging in my pipes and pipe tobaccos at any whim of my choosing... which is how I have always indulged previously.  

3.  I sincerely do not know if I have the ability to accomplish #2. Well, hell, I *know* I could struggle and FORCE myself to adopt that pattern.  But, I do not know if the energy and struggle of effort that MIGHT take would pretty much obliterate the  unfettered joy I would hope to be experiencing on my one day of indulgence.

Oops.... that is it.  My 20 minute speed typing timer went off.  Back to the grind.  By the way.... I entitled this writing "Blur Cur" because I was imagining myself typing frantically like a speed demon and I like alliterations of sorts and I like the term cur.... an aggressive sort of animal. 

 PipeTobacco