Martha

 

Today, while running (13.5 miles (~ 22 km)) I listened to two Capuchin Masses.  One was the daily Mass from yesterday (I am usually a day behind), and the other one was from this past Sunday's Mass.  Even though I was at Mass in my home parish this past weekend.... it is my habit to also listen to the Capuchin Mass for Sunday sometime during the week as well because a) I often hear and learn more, b) I often get a different perspective that is more "Capuchin-mindset focused" and c) I like the musicians and their musical choices in the Capuchin Mass as well.  

One of the readings at the Sunday Mass focused on Martha.  In the reading, it said:

Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said,
"Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me."
The Lord said to her in reply,
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing. 

Listening to this reading and Fr. David's homily on this resonated strongly with me.  Martha, in this case, represents most of us at one time or another.  We can go about our tasks, but sometimes become worried and even sometimes resentful that we are working and others may be doing other things.  I sure do recognize myself being akin to Martha at times.  I can (and do) worry and fret about a helluva lot of things, probably nearly every day.  Those of you who have read my writings here do know that I tend to worry about many things. 

But.... in the greater scheme of things.... the worry, the fretting.... and even the potential resentment that can arise.... are in most ways.... unimportant.  I am firmly of the belief that life is meant to be lived in service.  For me, my teaching, my research, my family obligations, my parish obligations, my parenting, etc.... all are aspects of how I can be and should be of service to others.  Just because other folks can and do other things, does not diminish what I can attempt to do in my service.  The worries, the anxiety, the potential resentments that I can feel at times are unimportant in the greater scheme of things.  It is the service that matters, and if I can remain more attentive to that role of service, perhaps I will worry less, fret less, etc.  

* * * * *

PCS - 7.  Again, my pipe craving score sits at this challenging, moderately high level.  Yesterday, my commenter friend who goes by "Unknown" suggested that perhaps I could use additional sensory components of my pipes and pipe tobaccos to perhaps nudge me into having (and remembering) the dreams of pipes and pipe tobaccos I have been missing for quite a while.  I think this was a rather astute suggestion.  Early on when I first began this journey of refraining, I often held one of my pipes almost like a pacifier in my hand or clenched between my chompers when I would lay down to sleep.  It was very much a form of comfort to me, much like a pacifier can be to a newborn.  I did that for many weeks at first, until one morning I found the pipe I had with me overnight had fallen off the bed to the floor and I almost had stepped on it when I was getting out of bed.  I stopped out of concern that I may inadvertently break the pipe by stepping on it.  

However, I think perhaps the risk is worth it, if it can help me induce dreams that I remember again.  So, I will scour around for one of my oldest and worn, work-horse pipes that would not be a horrendous loss if I DID accidentally step on it, and will see if it can help with my dream state. 

In some ways, the "Martha" story and homily has also gotten me to think about the idea that perhaps I should stop worrying about "decisions" on whether to refrain from my pipes or to return to them.  Perhaps I should simply be "whatever" happens from day-to-day.  I am not really sure how to get into that sort of "whatever" mindset for damn near anything, however.... so I am especially not sure how to do that for my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  I may need to work on becoming more "whatever" about most things.  

* * * * * 

Another hot day in store.... similar temperatures as yesterday.  In my run, I was again in "Sasquatch Mode".  It was a VERY HUMID & MUGGY morning and was 78 degrees F (25.5 C) at 5:00am!  I am hoping/planning to go swimming with my wife at the community pool later today during the "low attendance" period.  It should be wonderful to immerse myself in the cool water!

PipeTobacco