.
Days Missed

A myriad of things have gone on the last several days that have kept me from posting. I shall use today's post to catch up:

1. Saturday - a good day, I have trained my handlebar mustache nicely and received numerous grins about my "silliness" in this endeavor.

2. Sunday was also a scorcher of a day with high humidity and temperatures in the upper 90s. We ate talapia fish for dinner. As I am not a huge fish eater, I was a bit questioning if I would enjoy this, but I must say it was delicious. My wife cooked said fish in a potato and parmasean cheese encrusted toping, baked it carefully in the oven and we topped it with lemon juice. It was extraordinarily tasty. I told her I would willingly add this to the menu regularly.

3. Monday was a fruitful day with a significant amount of work accomplished in the lab and office.

4. Tuesday was a very rough day. I had been having a great deal of sadness about my mom during the weekend and it came to the surface on Tuesday. I thought I had been going along, pretty well, focusing on things I *could* work on and *could* change, and have even been keeping up with eating well and exercising. On the way home from the University, a heavy thunderstorm came through and the rain was exciting and beautiful... I was thinking of the fun of running through heavy rain storms in my youth. When I arrived home, however, the power was out (again... a long story, it seems my neighborhood alone will have a power outage anytime someone at the power company sneezes). This threw me for a loop and I had a horrible evening. I broke down cry and sobbing and was wholly inconsolable for at least an hour. Added to this was the myriad of tasks my wife and I were planning to accomplish that evening, including a very nice dinner, including attending the monthly grief support group meeting, and other things. I was utterly overwhelmed. I did all the tasks necessary to set up the generator for this ANOTHER power outage... the second in as many weeks, and was nearly hysterical. To make a long post shorter.... I accomplished all the things I planned to do... went to the meeting (not valuable, I was unable to listen well)... had dinner etc. But the evening was shot. I could not bring myself out of my gloom and despair. The power came back on around midnight. I shut down and put away the generator and tried to get everything back to "normal" and went to bed utterly exhausted.

Today, I awoke and still feel a physical exhaustion from the sheer range of emotion and terror and sadness that gripped me last night. I am going to go exercise strenuously and try to shake off these "blues" even though they are far more than "blue". I would say "deep, impenetrable indigo" might come closer to my emotions.

Keep me in your thoughts that I may return to my "new normal" by mid-afternoon. I want my energy back, I want to not feel so spent.

PipeTobacco