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Struggling, Struggling

I am seeming to continue the fall back into unending despair. I feel hopeless and sad and angry all at once. If I allowed myself to do so, I could sleep 24 hours a day. My thoughts revolve around death, dying, and loved ones who have passed away.

Please believe me when I say I am trying to not slip back into that horrid cesspool of despair. I am LITERALLY FORCING MYSELF to go through the motions... I walked even longer today (6.2 miles (10 km)) and this is day 144. I have been drinking additional water, trying to get more rest, and have been trying to do things for others... all things that have helped me in the recent past.

It does not seem to be working, however. As I type this in my back office, away from the masses of students, tears are streaming from my eyes and into my mustache and beard.

PipeTobacco