Nicotine

The image above is the chemical structure of nicotine, which apparently is my arch nemesis.  Nicotine is the chemical component of pipe tobacco that keeps me desiring to smoke.  But, I am not sure if it is really the nicotine that is the whole reason for my difficulty in quitting. 

Once, when I tried to first quit about 3 years ago, I thought nicotine was the sole reason for me to be smoking.  I tried to test that by switching to cigarettes instead of a pipe.  I have NEVER regularly smoked cigarettes in my life, and prior to this one attempt, I had perhaps smoked 10-15 cigarettes my whole life.   My thought was that perhaps if I could simply get the same nicotine, but in a way that was foreign to me, and one that I did not typically choose or enjoy, it might be a way to begin to break the habit and to quit.

But, I did not last more than about 3 days in this attempt using cigarettes instead of a pipe, before I was smoking my pipe again, and had thrown out all the remaining cigarettes in that one pack. 

A while later, I thought, if I could break the pipe habit with something else, perhaps that would be a start on the right path.  So, I decided to smoke only cigars.  Now, I do smoke a few cigars a year (perhaps 5-6 a year).  But, just like with the cigarettes, I quickly gave up the cigars and went back to the pipe within a few days. 

One time, I started to use nicotine gum, but that too did not stick more than a few days before I was back smoking the pipe. 

My most successful attempt (which was not successful, since I am still smoking a pipe) was two years ago when I refrained from smoking my pipe during Lent.  The way Lent is structured, Sunday technically is not a required day of refraining from whatever you give up for Lent.  So, during the seven weeks of Lent, I was able to very dutifully refrain from my pipe on 6 of the 7 days.  And, I would smoke my pipe the one day each week.  I admit it was hard.  And, I also realize that I was eagerly waiting for my "day off" each week to again smoke my pipe.  And, I also admit, with much chagrin, that I began smoking my pipe back at my normal levels the day after Easter Sunday.

So, I keep wondering if there is something besides nicotine that I am so very deeply addicted to within pipe tobacco? Or, is there something else about pipe smoking that makes it so much more difficult for me to refrain from? 

I feel like a damn fool and an utter failure.  But, I am still trying to think and reason through some sort of battle plan that will work for me. 

PipeTobacco