Truth Be Told

I am going to be completely up front here.  My pulse is still racing a bit.  But more about that in a little bit. 

I admit, truth be told, that I am feeling melancholy. My wife is staying overnight again at her parent's house to help with my elderly father-in-law with his myriad of needs after being summarily released prematurely from the hospital.   This is the right thing for her to do, and I support her doing this.  It is critical and valuable for her to be there.  But, I am am feeling lonely. 

I admit also to having had three bourbons this evening.  I felt it was "okay" even though I really should not have, but, I did.  I did not indulge until after I got our youngest kids to bed.  And, we had an enjoyable evening, made some chocolate cookies of three different varieties so we can take them to their grandparents tomorrow as we go to celebrate (Grand)mother's Day with my mother-in-law.  The kids had fun with me, and we made a cookie that turned out rather unique.  It was a chocolate-lemon cookie, and I have to say even though it was different than anticipated, it is pretty damn good.  All of us enjoyed them. 

With the youngest kids in bed and sleeping, and three bourbons in my gullet, I felt a bit more relaxed, and thought I would take the dog out to do her "business"  for the evening and I would open up this week's stash of pipe tobacco (A whole day later than I could have started this next ounce!),  I purposefully waited as long as I could so as to have a little bit more "wiggle room" by next Wednesday and Thursday when the piddling amount of pipe tobacco in my stash seems so minimal as to be virtually non-existant.  So, I was looking forward to my first pipe at 10:30pm on Saturday instead of on Friday.... I sat down, began to ignite the beloved bowlful of crumbles of blessed burley leaf for the first time today, and just as I was getting a good light in the bowl, the damn dog starts raising hell, and runs bat-out-of hell towards a opossum she sees in the distance at the far end of the yard.    "Sh*t!" i mutter under my breath as I jump out of my chair, the pipe falling out of my mouth onto the lawn as I chase after the dog trying to get her before she gets to the opossum, who may end up trying to tear her apart! 

Luckily, the opossum does really "play dead" and looks like road kill as I stumble up to the leash and yank my dog away from the beast just before she reaches him.  I guide the dog back to a safer proximity to the house and look around for my pipe.  Half of the beloved burley leaf has been knocked out onto the ground.  In some ways, I want to weep about that loss.  But even I know that is stupid.  

I sit back down, and rummage my lighter out of my shirt pocket and relight the (half) bowl of pipe tobacco while I look at the "dead" opossum still playing dead at the fence. After another minute or so, he gets up and meanders away.  This time I have a VERY firm grip on the dog's leash, so when she notices the opossum again, I can keep her from going crazy again.

 I'd like another bourbon.  I'd sure as hell like another pipe, with half of this one falling onto the ground.  But, I know I should have neither. I have gotten a few things ready to surprise my wife when she returns tomorrow morning for Mother's Day.  The youngest kids have all their items on the kitchen table, and I have neatened up the house a bit, so all should be ok.  Perhaps I should just go to bed, and it will be morning that much quicker. 

I have been thinking about how in some ways it must have been nice, back in the 1800's when some of my heros like Darwin,  Bell, Morgan, etc. would smoke their pipes without a worry or a concern about it.  They were not aware of the risks, and without that awareness, it would have been a hobby for them that was akin to any other hobby... not a "morality" play like smoking is for most of us today.  It may be stupid for me to wish such a lack of knowledge on myself, but, it would be nice to not have that sort of philosophical turmoil. 

I also was thinking about my father.  I miss him.  It has been 23 years now since he passed away.  But, I still miss him significantly.  I would relish hearing again his insights, especially now that I am an old gray haired geezer myself.  His knowledge and understanding of life would be so valuable to hear. And, sitting with him and sharing a pipe together..... damn, those were pleasant times.  I remember so many times as a kid and into adulthood, for a long time, even up to his death, where over pipes he and I would talk about damn near everything under the sun.  I would gain from his love and his insight, and I do believe that he enjoyed my company as well, especially when he was more elderly. 

My own father earned three bronze stars and a purple heart for his service in World War Two.  He was a part of the invasion at Normandy. 

My wife will probably be home at 8 or 9 am.  It will be nice to have her return. 

PipeTobacco