A Beer and a Pipe
It has been damn near 17 months now since I gave up my pipes. During this time of refraining from the pipe, I also came to realize that my drinking has gone down to pretty much zero as well. I have never been a big drinker by any stretch of the imagination.... but I so very much enjoyed having a drink or two with my elderly father-in-law on Friday as we smoked our pipes.
I have also always kind of "known" that for me, drinking is "ok" as far as it goes.... but truth-be-told, when I did have a drink or two (or more on those rare occasions).... I did so.... mostly in the joyful anticipation of how the drinks would enhance everything I loved about smoking my pipe. First, the pipe tobacco would feel significantly stronger after a couple of drinks. Second, the ritual and process of filling, tamping, lighting, and smoking the pipe as well as the knocking out of the ashes afterwards to refill the bowl again.... all the tasks would take on a more "noticable" form and would require a bit more concentration so I would be more "observant" and more "present" during the process. This too was wonderful.
Without my elderly father-in-law to share this activity with, I no longer have a "drinking buddy" to hang out with. That is sad.
But during the last few days, I have been having dreams of being at a bar and chatting and talking and smoking my pipe. Now, that really is NOT my personality. I have never been a "bar" sort of person, nor one who is particularly "chatty" in regards to talking with folks I haven't met.
But, it has had me thinking, and I have been thinking when I go on my trip across town to visit the cemetery this week (it happens to be something I plan to do today, this week)..... I have mulled over in my head stopping in a little run-down bar that is near the cemetery and having a beer, and perhaps sitting out back and smoking my pipe. I know that since my state no longer allows indoor smoking, that this little run-down bar has a couple of picnic tables out in their back for folks to smoke.
Not really sure if I will do this or not, but I did put a pipe, lighter, and pouch of tobacco in my vehicle when I left for the U this morning.
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
My mother didn't smoke a pipe..but the only time she smoked cigarettes was when she drank..she is what they call a periodic drinker? alcoholic..she'd go six months and not drink..then one day I'd come home from school and smell cigarette smoke and I knew she was drinking and might disappear for a week or two...
anyhow..I'm very proud of your not picking the pipe up again...you did good.
From a reader's distance, the fact that you have held on to your pipes and tobaccos has made it pretty clear that, deep down, you have always planned to return to them at some point in the future. Pretty soon you'll be at 500 days without smoking your pipes, but you sill hold on to them. None of us reading your blog can really know whether you can be happy continuing to abstain while nevertheless "being" a pipe smoker in your mind and heart and dreams. My sense is that you are close to a decision: either throw out the pipes and tobacco and know that pipe smoking is part of your character but not your external practice... or find some gentle, positive, affirmative setting at which you can return to the fold as a daily pipe smoker. As a Thinker you will surely examine this more deeply than any blog post or reply could accomplish; I wish you all the best in figuring things out!
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