Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

 

I am feeling a lot more "2022" today than I was yesterday.  It was very interesting HOW pervasive my "old school" actions and activities shaped yesterday.  I believe it must have either been a very powerful dream I was in when I had awoken or perhaps it was a result of the particular STAGE of the sleep cycle that I awoke in yesterday that had my mind in a bit of a "reset" pattern where much of my subconscious thoughts and perceptions were akin to a much earlier time in my life (late 20s-early 30s).  Just a few other manifestations of this yesterday:

• As alluded to yesterday, the seemingly COUNTLESS times I absentmindedly reached for a pipe, just as a matter of day-to-day activity.  It was QUITE frustrating to experience the "jarring" realization each time that my "patterns" were not current for 2022.  EVERY TIME it jarred me.  So very odd a feeling.
• I had several instances yesterday where my mind drifted into thoughts of the various things I "needed" to do to care for my Mom as well.   Unfortunately, my Mom has of course passed away many, many years ago.  Yet, my mind kept rolling through circuits of thought about things I needed to do to care for her needs like I did for the many years after the passing of my Dad.  Thoughts of "upcoming" medical appointments, thoughts of making time to "pick up" prescriptions, having thoughts of arranging my schedule to do all sorts of the things I would just routinely do to help her out.  
• I also interestingly had similar thoughts that were temporally discordant about my Dad too.  And, even though he had past far earlier than my Mom, and the time frame was a bit different, those sorts of "plans to do" things for or with him also kept organically coming into my mind. 
• In one of my jaunts across campus, I "instinctively" started to take a path towards a building destination that I used to regularly use to a building that I, in my younger days.... ALWAYS was teaching in.  Yet, this building had long ago been remodeled for other purposes and no longer had any classrooms that I have taught in for damn near 15 years.
  
• It was so, so strange a feeling to have all those thoughts and others as well again as if they were the PRESENT TIME.  And, every time I would become aware of my "mistake" in what is current in the above.... it was like a punch to the gut.  So, so tiring.  

But, this morning, after a reset apparently from sleep last night, everything is all "2022" again.  It is far easier.... but in some ways it was NICE to experience those thoughts in that earlier time in a "live" fashion again and not only as memories... other than the jolt of regret when reality again permeated the situation.  

• Ran my last 11 miles (~16 km) for the week.  I hit my 55 mile (~89 km) weekly goal, so I can rest my feet for the weekend.  
• I have been focusing especially on trying to better stretch the muscles of the upper back of my leg (what people commonly call the "hamstrings" but consist of the adductor magnus, biceps femoris, semitendinosus and semimembranous muscles).  I started adding these stretches to my list of stretches to do after running, because late in the summer, I experienced a little bit of discomfort in my kneecap region that did not make any sense to me, as I had not experienced any injury that I could discern.  To try to troubleshoot I worked on measuring my "range of motion" parameters and I figured out that my leg with the tender kneecap had a bit lower range of post-impact motion than the other (non-sore) leg.  I then went through the various stretches I had been doing, and realized I had overlooked a bit, the "hamstrings".  When I searched around for suggested stretching exercises for the "hamstrings" and began to attempt them, I realized that they had been rather neglected all this time.... because initially those stretches were DAMN hard, and I could tell that these muscles were far too tight than what I would like.  After the first few days of these new stretches, the tenderness in  my knee completely dissipated, which was goal #1.  But, in the weeks since then, I have been able to see and feel a considerable improvement in that aspect of my range of motion too..... which is good.  My stretching routine had been pretty comprehensive before, I had thought.... but I am glad I realized what was missing when the tenderness arose.  I am feeling good about the additional limberness I now feel from these stretches.  

I can only imagine that when folks read my blog, that in some fashion they may get awfully damn confused.  I express my thoughts here, and admittedly, they are varied.... but I can also admit that some of my thoughts are awfully damn incongruent as well.  What I mean by this is that my thoughts do not necessarily fit a neat, logical path at times.  I mean.... I have to admit for an old guy, I am now somewhat athletic.  But at the same time for much of my youth and much of my adulthood, I used to NOT be so.  I also am a person who has a normal BMI and has kept said for a fair number of years.... but I used to be considerably obese.  I like to run…. and find physical, emotional, and even spiritual benefit in doing so, yet at the same time I am a (currently) non-smoking, pipe smoker who WANTS to smoke my pipes and pipe tobaccos pretty much every day.  I am a person who holds democratic... actually by-and-large...  rather very liberal... political values, but at the same time I lead what would be a rather conservative existence myself.  I am a staunch adherent to my Roman Catholic faith, but I am also a biologist, and Roman Catholics (or any faith construct) are rather scant in my profession.  I try to live in the moment, but as most here readily know, I ruminate a whole helluva lot.  When I try to look at myself from the "outside".... I see I am just a damn huge mass of incongruency.

• PCS - 8.... still VERY strong yearnings today.  I would easily, if left to my own whims, be indulging in a pipe at this very moment.  I have been trying to help myself by spending time recalling and mentally "remembering/revisiting" the delightful flavors, textures, and impacts of some of my favorite pipe tobaccos.  If I think hard enough about them, I can ALMOST get an ephemeral sense of those beautiful tastes and feelings again.  When I can rangle my mind to do so, it is helpful.  
• Today will be a day where I very diligently work and strive to get all manner of research and teaching efforts done, up, reviewed, and ready for next week.  I want to leave campus today with EVERYTHING done and set so I do not have to give a thought to the U all weekend long.  Hopefully this goal WILL NOT be only a "pipe dream"..... I would rather my "pipe dreams" be of the more beautiful leafy brown burley variety!

After I completed the rosary this morning while running, I began to think about the wonderful movie I have seen so many times called "The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Mood Marigolds".  It was an important film for me as it very long ago (it came out in the very early 1970s)  helped firm up (and shape) some of my own philosophies regarding the importance of psychology, social justice, and helped me better realize the unfortunate economic stratification of our society.  Even though I watched the film in the early 70s and several times since then, I have not seen the film in perhaps 20-25 years now.  I will have to see if perhaps I can locate it to view again.  The title always reminds me of a teaching lab I provide students where I have them examine and compare the effects of radiation exposure on seed development.  It is a good lab and helps students see the environmental impact and risks/dangers of nuclear power, and of course nuclear weapons.  The seeds I use are typically a variety of squash seeds. 

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