Well....

 

In the greater world view, what I am about to write about, and in fact nothing that write about amounts to much of anything of significance or importance.  I know that.  It is just the way it is.  However, today, I am going to share with you something, that has no significance at all, except to me:

• I awoke at a bit after 5:00am this morning, and was getting ready to try to do my usual run.
• In my mind, I just wanted to get it over with, so I could get on with my day.... hence I ACTUALLY got out of bed at the time I had wanted to.  
• I put on my typical running attire.... shorts, long-sleeve shirt that is polyester to reduce rubbing and chafing of my nipples (You would be surprised how damn annoying and uncomfortable they can feel after a long run if wearing a regular cotton t-shirt.  My chest hair  and other torso hair keeps the shirt from rubbing much of the rest of my torso, but the polyester shirt helps too.)  then I put on a regular, short-sleeve cotton t-shirt on over the top of that to help manage sweat, my socks, shoes and the baseball hat I wear while running.  The hat has become quite sun-faded on the outside.  The inside remains the original very dark blue, but the outside is now a dusty looking very light gray.  
• I got out the door and was ready to begin by ~5:30am.  It was still dark, but I could tell that it was also heavily and densely cloud-covered.   That made me happy. 
• I began running.
• I started by listening to yesterdays Capuchin Monastery Mass.  It was helpful.  
• I started to run through goals for the day at the U, and realized that today was one of the VERY FEW (if any other) days I had that were COMPLETELY UNSCHEDULED from now to the start of Fall Semester.   
• So, I started to think.... I HAD set a goal for myself last December 31st.  This goal had been more of a "hope".  I had given up on this goal as an unattainable pipe dream a few months ago and had not thought of it much since that time.  

With the various emotional challenges that befell this Summer (most of which are related to that which I no longer talk about here), the ideas of goals, aspirations, hopes.... etc.... sort of have flown out the window.  I have felt a lot of the Summer has been mostly survival mode.  But, with the timing of today, with the relative unstructuredness of today, with the cloud cover and pleasant temperatures.  I thought if there was ANY chance, it was today... and I thought I should at least TRY:

• So...... even though it was not in my thoughts until after I started this morning..... I forced myself.... and I DID IT...... I ran a FULL MARATHON RUN for the first time ever!!!!!!   That is a FULL 26.2 miles (42.16 km)!!!!  I RAN A SINGLE 26.2 mile (42.16km) RUN!
• Again, I know that thousands of folks do this regularly.  So, it is nothing significant in the greater scheme of things.  
• But as a grey haired, old codger.... one who used to weight damn near 300 pounds (close to 136 kg) and was never particularly physically active..... for me personally... it IS a pretty big deal.    
• It was NOT easy.  I did want to stop.... especially when I ended up reaching ~19 miles (~30 km).  This mileage was pretty close to the proverbial "wall" that I have read is a common occurrence for people running a marathon. 
• Even though I truly wanted to stop... I kept telling myself that today is/was likely the ONLY real chance I had left where I COULD do this in 2023 with life getting more complex again very soon.  I also reminded myself of how I had a bit of an "advantage" to do this today, as I had not ran at all on Saturday nor Sunday (I had met my weekly mileage goal on Friday last week.)  So, I kept reminding myself that this was the best shot I had for trying to actually do this.  

So.... again.... I seriously DO know this nothing significant.  But, for today, anyway.... I am going to allow myself to feel a sense of happiness at having done this.  As I hobble around the rest of the day (I am damn sore, and quite exhausted!  I admit that. I am consuming an even larger amount of fluids today to assure my muscles will have as ample an opportunity to shed/release lactic acid as possible.)  I will at least be able to feel good about having done this.  

I may even drink a beer tonight in a form of celebration!

PipeTobacco