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Better Left Unsaid

It is rare that I talk about my siblings (other than my baby brother, whom I have a special relatioship with), however, today I feel a need to write about some of them.

I have two sisters who live in the same town as I do. Yet, in tersm of care for my elderly mother, it is as if they live in another state... actually another nation. Both of them go blithley on their way through life, without giving much of a rat's *ss about Mom.... and even less about what it means for my household family to help care for an elderly member with significant needs. This has been going on for several years. Unfortunately, my wife and I disagree about this issue (at least, we disagree on the surface... deep inside I believe we agree).

Yesterday, while my wife was out and I was taking care of mom, my sister dropped by and proceeded to tell my mother about a wonderful trip she and her hubby were taking and that they were leaving Monday and would be gone a week.

We (my wife and I) cannot simply take off now on a trip for obvious reasons. My mother needs significant care at this time. When my wife came home and heard of my sister's trip, she was (very justifably) upset. My sister (actuablly both of them that live here) are enormously self-centered, unthinking individuals who do not seem to grasp how much care our mother needs and requires.... and I think their lack of "understanding" may be purposeful to get them "off the hook" in terms of helping out.... it is easier to turn a blind eye to the situation. It irks the hell out of me too, but to be honest... it is nothing new... thatis the way they have always been and will always be. Even if I were to knock them over the head with this information and berate them for their lack of help, it would fall on deaf ears.

The only person it would hurt is my elderly mother. She would see and hear about our complaining to my siblings (expecially if they did acquiese and actually help out more than their very minimal help...both of them would be sure to talk about how "Frumpy sure got upset at me..." to my mother. The end result is that it would simply cause pain for my mother.... and ACTUALLY cause more strife in our household.... for it would be far, far more difficult to care for her if she were sad and unhappy.

This has been a long standing area of tension between my wife and I. She would like me to confront my sisters and get them to do "their fair share". I TRULY would like them to do "their fair share" as well. I agree with my wife 100% on that score... but I KNOW for a fact, that "fair share" will never happen because they are selfish. I want to protect my elderly mother during her remaining time here.

I agree with my wife about my sisters being selfish.... but I wish she agreed with me as well.... that she understood that no amount of hollering, talking, complaining, or b*tch*ng to them on my part will result in any sort of change.

I feel as if I am between a rock and a rock at times on this matter.

PipeTobacco