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To Sleep, Perchance to Dream?

Mom happily is staying stable.

During the course of my mother's illness, I noticed some significant changes in my patterns of sleep. I still average only four to five hours of sleep each night, but its quality is quite different.

Prior to this six week period of her illness, my ability to sleep was very good. I would go up to bed and would typically fall asleep in one to 5 minutes. The dreams I would have were numerous, vivid, typically enjoyable and exciting, and easy to recall with high detail.

During the first three wto four eeks of her illness, my sleep became less restful. I would still be able to fall asleep easily, but the dreams I had became more and more nightmarish in outlook. As the weeks progressed, the details of the nightmares became less and less precise, and they also became more difficult to recall in detail. Yet the feelings of despair upon awakening was extensive and fearful.

During the last two weeks, I have started to have significant difficulty in falling asleep. I often notice the clock an hour or two after I lay dow to sleep. Even more frustrating is that my dreams (and even the nightmares) have disappeared. I see nor feel anything during sleep. I cannot recall even having a remnant of a dream, let alone something vivid, exciting or fun. Sleep devoid of dreams is oddly unrestful. I awake feeling as if I had not slept. I feel utterly exhausted, and it takes several cups of coffee to feel even moderately awake each morning.

I miss my dreams.

Yesterday, I mentioned and linked to my very favorite work, Don Quixote. Actually I linked to the musical about the character. Tonight I have a link to a small regional group practicing this wonderful musical... called and also Man of La Mancha. That book and even the musical (which is comedic) have been so important to me. I truly love the messages from the book and musical and have felt a true kinship with each most of my life.

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