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Do Not Read This Post

Do not read this post if you do not want to hear significant cynicism, anger, frustration, rancor, and saddness.

When will I simply just give up and accept that this is the lot I have in life? Why do I keep letting blossom in my mind a time where I can feel happy, where life can be casual and calm, where co-workers treat each other kindly and with respect, where relatives bond together in times of crises. A life where my significant other tries to nurture me and I her.

Why is it I cannot have a life where the hurt, the sorrow, the saddness, the grief, and the pain are at least occasionally intersperced with happiness, with perhaps even a moment of joy?

It is now Monday morning, and after the hellacious weekend I have had from my mother and from my wife, all the b*llsh*t I had to put up with from three signicantly assinine individuals in my Department, and all the crap I need to grade prior to my classes, I am not feeling particularly vibrant or happy. In fact, I am downright angry, and more hurt, sad, and tired than I think a man should have to face at any point in life except perhaps at death. In so very many ways, I am close to a point where I want to give up.

I look back at my life a year ago (through this blog) and see a person I miss and long for. I fear that person is dead.

PipeTobacco