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Why? Here is why.

G@P, an excellent fellow and friend wrote a comment wondering why I have been contemplating refraining from my pipe. I thought I would now try to write about my reasons for this anticipated endeavor.

I deeply, and truly enjoy each and every aspect of smoking my pipe. It is a hobby and an avocation for me. I enjoy the tools of the trade (the pipes, the lighters, the pipe cleaners, matches, tobacco pouches, etc), I enjoy greatly the flavors, the textures, and the colors of indulging in the hobby. I enjoy the robust stimulation of the neurons in my mind and feel its effects are literally magical in their artistry and beauty. I literally feel my smoking my pipes transforms my thoughts... an analogy would be that my thoughts when not indulging in my pipes are akin to digital photographs... very literal, very clean, and very precise. When I indulge in my pipes, my thoughts remain detailed and clear, but they also elevate into the realm of feeling artistic, more colorful, more vivid, more substantial.

So, if I feel that much wonderment from the pipe, why, you ask, would I be contemplating refraining? Well, the answer is not a simple statement. Unfortunately not much of anything I think is a simple statement, but that is a topic for another essay. I am seriously contemplating refraining from the pure, blissful hobby of my pipe for each of the following reasons:

1. I did purposefully refrain from my pipe for the 12 or so days prior to my mother's passing. I had originally taken this vow to refrain as a way I could show love to God and my family. It was a moderately comfortable endeavor and I felt very good about my choice at that time. I anticipated that I would continue my refraining for a good, long time, likely years, even though the initial time frame was to refrain during Lent. As many of you long-term readers know, after the sudden, unexpected passing of my beloved mother, I willfully, purposefully, and vehemently returned to my pipe literally to show my anger, disgust, and rage at God. While I have not had a recovery of my faith... it is still at a very low ebb in my life at the moment, I am still thinking that my refraining could be a way for me to show my love of my family. So, that is one reason.

2. It grows tiresome to have the media, and most of the general public displaying very anti-tobacco feelings continuously. I disagree with these anti-tobacco feelings very strongly. But part of me is pretty damn tired of fighting against windmills (remember, I have said that my feelings of being Don Quixote have died... this is one of several ways that I think my Quixotesque feelings have died).

3. I sometimes believe that the way for me to grow is only through doing difficult, hard things. I would like to grow in breadth and depth as a person, and part of me things that by forcing myself to deny myself a pleasure, to experience this sort of seperation from a hobby that is deeply ingrained in my soul might be one very important way to grow in breadth and depth.

4. One particular brand of tobacco is becoming very difficult to find locally. This brand, Sir Walter Raleigh, is a wonderful leaf, and even though I have many varieties of pipe tobacco to choose from, I have been going out of my way of late to try to locate this particular brand. Because of its scarcity locally, I wonder if this is some sort of message from the ethos that I should be willing to give up this hobby. I know I could order said brand of leaf via e-mail without a problem, but there is something about being able to purchase this leaf in my local community that makes me feel a part of a greater sense of community. To "cheat" and buy said over the Internet, would turn my efforts from being a part of the local community, to instead being just a mechanized, required process. It seems to dehumanize the effort.

Perhaps none of the above makes sense. Perhaps none of the above are legitimate reasons for refraining. But as it stands, those four reasons ARE the reasons that give me the push to at least contemplate refraining. As of today, I have reduced my participation in the hobby. Actually for the last three days, I have allowed myself one pipe and one cigar only a day. I am not sure what my next step shall be. I am not sure if there will be a step forward towards further refraining, or if I shall step back into full immersion into the hobby. It is yet to be determined.

PipeTobacco