The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

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Trying to Be A Better Person




One of the major efforts I am trying to consistently focus on is trying to be a better person. How do I define "better" you may ask? Well, for me, becoming "better" involves trying to more fully live my life in a way that has me trying to be as kind and considerate to others as I can be.

Sometimes, I find that I can be impatient, and right now I am finding that at those times I have typically been impatient, I have the most obvious chances I can identify at becoming "better". I have been working for the last week or so at stopping many of my impatient actions and instead working through better ways to interact with others around me.

I am still striving to do this more and more often. A case in point is illustrated by a failure I had this morning. On my way to work, there is a fairly busy 4-Way stop intersection. Because of the large volume of traffic, it is often very slow moving through that particular intersection. In the case of my own travels to the U, I need to make a right turn at this intersection. Today, when I finally arrived at the stop sign to make my right hand turn, the fellow 90 degrees to the left of me had the "right of way" as it would be his turn next to go (again, think of all four lanes around this 4-Way stop being backed up considerably). As is often the case, people are not paying particularly good attention, and this fellow, whose turn was before my own, was not moving at a pace that was in keeping with people in a rush hour style "hurry" to get to work. I waited one, two, three intervals for the fellow to move, and then I too my turn instead. Just as I was taking my turn, he started to gradually enter the intersection for his turn. So I kept going and ended up ahead of him on the same road going to the U.

My impatience had me move out of turn. Granted, the fellow could have moved faster to keep traffic flow moving, but just because he did not move at a desired pace, DID NOT mean I should have cut in front of him in the rotation. Immediately after I did this, I felt guilt, and I wished I had not done this. And, even though it is a common occurrence for many to do this when encountering distracted or slow to respond drivers, I wish I would have exhibited more of the patience I have been focusing on.

I do not know the driver who followed me into the U. But, in my mind, I did apologize for driving out of turn. It really did nothing for him. And, he probably did not even notice my cutting ahead in rotation as a problem or difficulty... he was distracted doing other things. But, I apologized, not because I expected a response, but because I felt it was wrong for me to cut ahead of the rotation.

PipeTobacco

5 Comments:

Blogger muddleglum said...

The main rule in this situation is to maintain a good flow of traffic. You did. So you observe your fellow driver and make the best decision that you can. You did.

From what you say, your "impatience" flag came on about where my "good to go" flag would have whipped me around the corner. BUT, you hesitated still and that clued in the other guy. So, was it really impatience? or are you repressing a very intelligent part of yourself that recognized the best time to go?

I opine your brain was simply signalling the go ahead at first. Your latter reactions merely echo the fact. You were not impatient at the man, but feeling a conflict within. Difference there. You were not competitive, either. You showed consideration by waiting those intervals. You did well for a non-mind reader.

Therefore, it looks like your becoming a better person is being sabotaged by your wanting-to-be-a-better-person. A depressed man has a harder time growing.

Take care.

Wednesday, 29 September, 2010  
Blogger BBC said...

Knock it off about being a better person shit, you're just fine the way you are.

Wednesday, 29 September, 2010  
Blogger Jane said...

i like you, billy.

Wednesday, 29 September, 2010  
Blogger Christina said...

Ive done the same thing. I like to think the silent apology is heard by he who matters most, my higher power.

Good for you, Pipe.

Thursday, 30 September, 2010  
Anonymous kwpang said...

I think you are overall good by reading your blog,

Thursday, 30 September, 2010  

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